Monday, September 22, 2008

Wacky Business Names

Want to start a business? Have you picked a name yet? It is said that the name you choose for your business has a lot to do with it’s success or failure. As such there are lessons out there – long complicated notes and near scientific formulas on how to come up with a business name that will ensure success.

But for some it’s as easy as one, two three. A common criteria for choosing business names this part of the world is to pick and combine the first few letters of your name and that of your spouse, your children, your cat, your canine friend……. the choices are limitless.

But despite the fact that this way we shall never run out of unique names, it’s not always a safe route because it can produce some really wacky names for your business. Clients may avoid doing business with you just so they don’t have to sweat it out writing your name on a cheque. They may avoid calling you so they don’t keep pronouncing it when they book calls to you. If it’s a kindergarten, don’t come up with a mouthful of a name that your little clients cannot pronounce.

You’ll always know businesses that pick their names like that.

  • Domungwa Enterprises and General Merchant
  • Stekaka Kindergarten
  • Juwangi General Merchants
  • Sajomku Distributors
  • Nawalu Cleaning services

Ok, these businesses do not actually exist. They’re just examples of name concoctions and have no relation to any businesses that may go by similar names.

You may want to save yourself the trouble and just use your name. In which case if your name is Boring then your business becomes Boring Business Systems. Simple. Boring Business Systems, boring name notwithstanding, has been in operation in Florida US since 1924. That’s 80 years of operation – a huge success if you ask me. So maybe business names don’t matter after all.

Picture Courtesy

Now now now, Stiff Nipples Air Conditioning Service. I could not ascertain whether this business actually exists or whether this was an internet prank. But just supposing it exists? Whatever does the telephone operator say when she picks incoming calls? How do clients write the cheques to them when they purchase stuff from their shop?

From The Past: May I Take Your Order?


Taabu said...

Stop being CHEEKY on a Monday morning. So what is in a name? Trivially a aname is a cluster of letter cobbled for physical tagging. People kick a fuss on names for lack of better things to do.

Figure the Japanese envoy to TZ in the 80s whose name was Kumamoto and her daughter Kanagawa could not be registered in any Bongo school with a combination of her maiden and dad's name.

Taabu said...

BTW Stiff Nipples Air Conditioning story (SNACs) is cool name because honestly stiff upper appendages would air condition emotionally no doubt provided they are natural and not mere padding of FLOPPY DISKS.

Shiko-Msa said...

Looool Taabu I've no words for you. Kwani the Japanese story is true? I've heard the story but I always thought it's a joke.

And by the way this Stiff Nipples AC Company is said to be in London. Ever heard of it?

Maua - ever heard of this one?

Mountainous said...

just found mine - LUCKi Ltd.

KK said...

I once called stiff nipples and was asked how stiff I like my nipples to determine how cold I wanted my AC to cool.

Shiko-Msa said...

KK you serious? That's funny Lol.

Kirima I think I can tell you your full name now.

Someone was looking for a nice name for his magazine. He could get a few tips.

Mountainous said...

hehehe! that is a mix of my name and someone else!!!

Shiko-Msa said...

That makes it even easier. So so much easier infact I think I'm sure now.

Nairobian said... make me laugh....stiff niples???

Maua said...

Shiko, I actually had to google this, and although 2 phone numbers came up in several parts in West London, non of them was in service. Looks like the company did exist at some point, but maybe the business died. Companies House, however has a company registered under the name Stiff Nipples Training Limited. In the process, I found Stiff Joints Services Ltd.

Taabu said...

Maua SNAc iko and exists in central London. Just look and search hard enough. And their business is doing VERY WELL.

Maua said...

They are there, I think in Hayes and Southall in Middlesex (neighbouring London County), but the phone numbers given are not recognised. I guess I just wanted to hear how they answer the phone.

Shiko-Msa said...

Yes Nairobian. Stiff nipples. and I've just now learned that it exists and is doing VERY WELL. Someone seems to know them well. eeh Taabu?

Maua I'd also have loved to know how they answer their phone. Look at what they told KK. Now this stiff nipples training limited, whatever do they train? Lol.

e said...


Peter Njenga said...

Quite interesting.
Nice post Shiko!

Shiko-Msa said...

Thanks Peter. I foresee you opening a large distributor shop with a name like Njengpe Distributors. hehehehe. That's a prayer.