How To Be A Complete Piss-Off In The Office

• Go to work during odd hours when nobody else is there and snoop through your workmates’ computer files.

• Engage the phone for hours on end.

• Talk really loudly all the time.

• Hide the office newspaper in the morning until such a time when you have time to read.

• When reading it, dissect it and mix all the pages so that those reading after you cannot make head or tail. Make cuttings of articles you like.

• At the water dispenser, return the used glass among the clean ones.

• Keep calling wrong extensions. When the person on the other end picks up just hang up without a word and call the extension you wanted in the first place.

• Come in late for group projects and make your colleagues go through what they’ve already discussed in your absence.

• Borrow colleagues’ books and magazines and draw doodles inside.

• Borrow colleagues’ newspapers and fill in all the cross words and code words without consulting them first.

• Have a shrill ringtone or some loud weird war songs on your mobile phone.

• In an open plan office, keep peeping at what your neighbour is doing at his/her desk.

• Demand that when you arrive in the morning, the cleaner should drop whatever he/she is doing and clean your office first.

• Keep calling your workmates darling, sweetheart, honeypot, sugarpie. And give them the customary three kisses – left, right and left again.

• Forward sordid E-mails using the company address. Don’t delete the chain of addresses that comes with it.

• Play loud music on your speaker phone or from your computer.

• Need I say snoop through people’s drawers looking for God knows what?

Unfortunately life is too short to be pissed off and being pissed off never made anyone feel better. It’s better not to waste your time being angry with such behaviours.

See Also: International Slap Your Workmate Day