Friday, September 19, 2008

How To Be A Complete Piss-Off In The Office

  • Go to work during odd hours when nobody else is there and snoop through your workmates’ computer files.

  • Engage the phone for hours on end.

  • Talk really loudly all the time.

  • Hide the office newspaper in the morning until such a time when you have time to read.

  • When reading it, dissect it and mix all the pages so that those reading after you cannot make head or tail. Make cuttings of articles you like.

  • At the water dispenser, return the used glass among the clean ones.

  • Keep calling wrong extensions. When the person on the other end picks up just hang up without a word and call the extension you wanted in the first place.

  • Come in late for group projects and make your colleagues go through what they’ve already discussed in your absence.

  • Borrow colleagues’ books and magazines and draw doodles inside.

  • Borrow colleagues’ newspapers and fill in all the cross words and code words without consulting them first.

  • Have a shrill ringtone or some loud weird war songs on your mobile phone.

  • In an open plan office, keep peeping at what your neighbour is doing at his/her desk.

  • Demand that when you arrive in the morning, the cleaner should drop whatever he/she is doing and clean your office first.

  • Keep calling your workmates darling, sweetheart, honeypot, sugarpie. And give them the customary three kisses – left, right and left again.

  • Forward sordid E-mails using the company address. Don’t delete the chain of addresses that comes with it.

  • Play loud music on your speaker phone or from your computer.

  • Need I say snoop through people’s drawers looking for God knows what?


Unfortunately life is too short to be pissed off and being pissed off never made anyone feel better. It’s better not to waste your time being angry with such behaviours.



See Also: International Slap Your Workmate Day


17 Comments:

E said...

i shall plead the fifth on some of these...

Shiko-Msa said...

Lol E. I'm guilty of calling wrong extensions. But at least I say sorry before I move on to the right one.

savvy said...

@Shiko Msa
Do you call the extensions deliberately?

I hope to never have such workmates

Shiko-Msa said...

Haki Savvy no I don't hehehehe. Here whenever you call zero it goes straight to the switchboard. So if I'm calling like 201 or any other number with a zero, I guess I press the zero a bit too hard and it goes to reception.

But reception understands. She on the other hand calls people darling and sweetheart and if you've been away for some time she'll kiss you three times.

Shiko-Msa said...

E which ones in particular? Surely not all of them? Lol.

El said...

use strong perfume and spray a lot of it. the kind that gives people a headache

BP ONE said...

Ayiiiii, Shiko, you mean some workmates are all that heartless. ati "Hide the office newspaper in the morning until such a time when you have time to read....When reading it, dissect it and mix all the pages so that those reading after you cannot make head or tail. Make cuttings of articles you like." No way ….this habit I can’t accept in my office.

Anastácio Soberbo said...

Hello, I like this blog.
Sorry not write more, but my English is not good.
A hug from Portugal

Shiko-Msa said...

Anastacio thanks. Hug you back. Greetings from Mombasa Kenya.

BP there are such people. This may be a rare species and I've not personally come across any such breed. But there must be some somewhere in the wide world.....

Mixing up the pages I've seen though someone did it innocently. It was so funny when the new East African Standard came out with the sports pages facing upside down someone tried to rearrange it. that was funny - not a piss off.

El how could I forget pungent perfumes!

El said...

you're spot on with the sordid emails article. someone should stop this chain mails and miracles. how can forwarding a mail earn you a miracle?

greamhouze said...

Hi Shix, I see I have been late here! You very right about the emails and going through the comp files. I have this workmate that I want to do a story on. He is those annoying peeps it hurts.

Shiko-Msa said...

Hi Greamhouze. Better late than never. Do the post tusome. Does he blog by any chance? He'll read about himself! I know the kind. Not in our office but I know them.

Thanks for the new name. Shix. Nice.

UrXlnc said...

shiko

we ni mwengine. i hope you are not describing the actions of some of your colleagues in your office

my biggest probo is with guys who given ample time to run a project do everything else but, and then "suddenly" its the deadline and then they turn their gross mismanagement into a crisis for you or other staff

Shiko-Msa said...

Lol Urxlnc yes some of these are from the office but not all. But incidentally the worst cases have left for other places. I hope they didn't take their bad habits with them.

I know the kind that messes up the whole group with their mismanagement.

Nakeel said...

THis house looks so hot I like the pic at the top. Can I give you KICC you give me seashore loool.
Atleast have not pissed people so much just kadogo tu....

Kafai. said...

Have this chic in the office who always goes 'girlfriend, blah, blah, blah'
Gives me an instant headache that one.

Shiko-Msa said...

Hey Nakeel thanks. You give me KICC and take the shore that means I come to Nai you come to Msa. Fair game?

Kafai I know just what you mean by the instant headache lol. For me it's 'darling' that's a bit unsettling. Among others.