Friday, May 30, 2008

International Slap Your Workmate Day

Did you know that January 16th is International Nothing Day? And 21st January is Squirrel Appreciation Day? And January 26th is Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day. Check here for a few more crazy holidays. The bubble wrap day I’ll honour. I love bubble wrap. I don’t actually go out and buy it but if it lands in my hands by chance, for some strange reason I leave no bubble unburst.

Now how about we have an International Slap Your Workmate Day. Not that people don’t already trade slaps in offices and boardrooms. The purpose of making a day for it is to ensure amnesty against any assault cases resulting from the slaps that will be traded. No court cases so people will be free to exercise their palms to the possible maximum. You may only slap one workmate though and any slaps outside the said day are liable for prosecution.

Here in the office I have a very good idea who I’m going to slap when that day is finally passed into law. I’m not playing the holy card here. I’m not by any chance that bespectacled geek in the corner office who thinks their workmates are cheap. I do participate in office banter a lot but sometimes I just want to shut up and work. Ok Shut up and blog. I have two candidates for the slap but Bonge wins my palms hands down.

Ours is an open plan office and our work is such that different departments are busy on different days. My candidate is an Information Technology geek. What do IT guys actually do on a day to day basis? When all computers are working perfectly and the networks are fixed to perfection? They browse and chat that’s what. I mean, how many times can you fix a network or service them hard discs?

This one of ours here traverses the internet morning to evening and comes up with all sorts of weird subjects all of which he’s generous enough to share. It is when you’re trying to crack that mystery of some missing papers that you worked on just the other day that he’ll tell you about the ASCII CODE and the philosophy behind it. If you’re not interested in that, then surely you want to hear about how a volcano comes to be? How the juices boil in the belly of the earth until them tectonic plates can hold no more? How about the Ritcher scale, that one of earthquakes? The law of thermodynamics? The quantum theory? The benzing ring in chemistry and how tricarboxylates react with enamines. That’s the kind of talk he puts us through. His new craze of late is the prices of oil per barrel and he actually spends time doing some imaginary oil trade on the net! Oh Come on Bonge! How about we discuss Jennifer Lopez twin babies today?

As a plus for him, he’s very well versed in just about any topic in the world. If you really need to know something then he’s the guy to ask.

This article is posted with full blessings from dear Bonge. Noisemaking notwithstanding, he’s a very sweet guy to work with. And it never hurts anyone to be in the good books of the IT guy does it? His next project? You guessed right – he’s gonna be a writer/blogger. And he won’t just be writing short articles like one Shiko. He swears he’ll come up with an online novel in a few short months.


Maua said...

Int'l slap day, can I slap my boss?

Am I allowed more than one slap for the day, coz I have a list?

Maua said...

and that up there was a firstie.

Wanjiku Unlimited said...

Maua congrats for a firstie.

Maua tough luck. Strictly one slap for the day. The rest will have to wait for the next year. Too bad.

seinlife said...

the scariest bit about an international slap your workmate day is that some of these folks might actually ENJOY it......defeatists!!

BP ONE said...

Ayiiii , Never, Shiko. I object to that day coming to being. Being the boss around here, at my work place, and hearing what people like Maua is contemplating…I can't with stand 20 strong men slapping me on the cheek. For Sure I know, if the day comes to realty, I will be voted the best,by all, to receive their slaps.
Shiko, it seems someone has already set the rules for that day and also provided a multimedia you can learn how to do the slapping. visit this link

Sayra said...

Shiko, funny article.
Ati "he'll tell you about the ASCII CODE and the philosophy behind it" ... ha ha ha .... hiyo ni noma. That IT guy must be the boom on those boring days in the office.

That slap day is a day that would be a 'blessing' to me, unfortunately its just one slap ...

Anonymous said...

Anybody interested in slapping his workmate on the international slapping day just view this video clips and imagine if you are on the receiving end. BPONE, you are right, twenty of that smack, no body can stomach. See the Links
Wanjiku share with Bonge these clips, lest he gets a rough idea of what is coming

Midnite Preacher

Wanjiku Unlimited said...

Maua kwani your boss is how? Those ones who drag their personal problems to work ama?

BP thanks for the link. It's not opening right now but I'll check it out laterz. You've no reason to be scared coz I'm sure you're not one of those nasty bosses ama?

Seinlife lol. Some people might actually take it seriously and enjoy slapping others? Lol.

Midnight preacher Bonge is in stitches since he read this article. Says he's never been described so accurately. I'll ask him to check out the link too.

Wanjiku Unlimited said...

Sayra Lol. These days tumemzoea. The minute he starts talking guys start laughing in anticipation for the day's topic. Today naona he's on medicines and strange medical conditions.

BP ONE said...

Shiko you are right, i am not a bad boss,but just can't understand my workmates some times.Better be save than sorry.

Mo Ma said...

Can I slap 11 people? What if I line them up so I just have to slap one then their heads gongana like dominoes?

Wanjiku Unlimited said...

ha ha ha Mo Ma. Who are these on your list? Starting with your boss? And the receptionist who is always so irritatingly jovial?

The dominoes idea could really work wonders. I hope Maua is listening. Yeye pia ako na list.

Mcheku said...

Wanjiku these commemorative days sijasikia bado. I still live in the dark ages hata Valentines naonanga tu kwa tv. April fools I only know it coz I am usually the object of people's foolish pranks!

That Bonge is too much! Who knows such things? He knows everything? Coz those topics are just too conc for me. Tricarboxylates nimesikia leo! Please slap him silly on that day if you can, does he have a wife? Can you imagine having such a spouse who just talks thermodynamics and enamines?

Since am stll living in the dark ages, someone please enlighten me, is there a slap your husband day, or is there a husband only chores day? Coz I would like to take mental note of those ones when the time comes.

Mo Ma said...

Wanjiku, if I start naming them, I just won't stop.

I hope Hallmark makes a card for this one so I can at least send an e-card or something.


*fantasizing about various slap combos*

ragskanyi said...

Very cool idea!

Wanjiku Unlimited said...

Mcheku a spouse who talks like that god forbid!

Mo Ma a card would be nice for that day. Lol.