I’ve tried and tried to understand the USA electioneering system but I always get lost somewhere in the Primaries, Caucuses and super Tuesdays. Ours here I understand a little bit too well. Stuff enough ballot boxes with khangas and lamps and there you have your ticket to parliament. And a ministerial post soon after.
I’ve since given up on the US system but at least I know the basics. Barack Obama is in the lead. And he took a major stride towards Democratic Party’s presidential nomination with a victory over Hillary Clinton in North Carolina - a big win for the Obama camp which has put him almost beyond Hillary’s reach. The good very forgiving lady will need a miracle to reach him now.
In my effort to understand the system further, I came across a candidate who could very well be the next president of the United States of America. Maybe just as much as Nazlin Omar could have been Kenya’s president. His name is Jonathon ‘The Impaler’ Sharkey and he’s a Satanic Dark Priest, Sanguinarian Vampyre and a Hecate Witch. As a self proclaimed Satanist, Jonathon will be vying for the US presidency under the Vampires, Witches and Pagans Party which he founded in 2005. The party is officially recognized by the United States Federal Election Committee. Under Jonathon’s leadership (if he wins), gay marriages will not only be allowed, but as an ordained priest he will devote time once or twice a month and conduct them himself at the White House. He has major beef with the likes of Osama Bin Laden and Al-Qaida and although his preferred form of punishment for terrorists is to viciously impale them, he also has good plans to drop a bomb in the holy city of Mecca and level it to the ground.
This is not the first time Jonathon is vying for public office. He gave presidency a shot in 2004 and now again in 2008. He has also vied for congress in 3 states, New Jersey, Indiana and Florida. In 2006, he ran for Governor of Minnesota.
It’s difficult to write much about him without sounding like I’m campaigning for him but one last thing. Those who know about wrestling might know him by the name ‘Rocky Hurricane Flash’. He’s also a professional boxer. You may not want to but if you want to see him in his blood stained vampire website, you can check it out here.
I’ve tried and tried to understand the 
1 Comment:
Shiko... Me too, can’t understand, American politics. The more I try to understand it the more I get convinced with what a friend once told me before, "EITHER DEMOCRACY IS SYNONYMOUS WITH HYPOCRISY OR THE DEMOCRATS ARE HYPOCRITES”. Any 5 year old can tell Obama is famous and leading in the polls…..they just want to get rid of him, simply, because of his race…I think. Why can’t the Lady just quit? See the link http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1738215,00.html
As for Jonathon Sharkey, don’t worry we shall cast the devil out of him…Do you ask how? Simple!!!…We shall send him a post card of sheikh Osama with a “fatwa”at the back duly sign by the sheikh him self.
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