Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Every Day Home Truths

Some home truths I read about this morning from health24 and thought I could share. Mistakes we make every other day and then wonder, ‘how could I have been so stupid?’ These are summaries. For the full scoop, head here.

  • Doing Business with family and friends – When you’re at loggerheads with someone over a business deal, and this person happens to be a friend or relative, that relationship will invariably suffer.

  • Thinking you can fix people – people can only change themselves – you cant make someone else’s life different. Accept that some people are just unfixable and the problem does not lie with you, it lies with them.

  • Expecting people to keep secrets – Now there are some friends/relatives you can trust, but the point is that few people can keep secrets. Not for long anyway. If you want to keep something really secret, tell no one.

  • The Debt trap – Banks and shops don’t give you credit because they want to be nice. They give you credit because they can make money out of you. Ok, there are things like cars and houses which very few people can pay cash for, but once you start buying things like household goods, clothing and groceries for credit, you’re in trouble.

  • Not getting things in writing – Where something is agreed upon, such as a special agreements in hiring or job contracts, get it in writing. If you’re unable to prove that someone agreed to, you have no leg to stand on.

  • Rubbish in, rubbish out – Your body cannot be abused endlessly without any consequences. Late nights, smoking, lack of exercise and hard drinking – these are all things that exact their toll. Bodies fight back. Make friends with yours and treat it kindly.

  • Everyone has to paddle their own canoe – Even if your parents or lover are prepared to take responsibility for your life, enabling you to do very little, sooner or later you will have to paddle your own canoe. Do your own thing – it’ll make you feel better, and it is, after all, your responsibility.

  • Assuming there is one love-of-your-life – Many people make this mistake and when things don’t work out with this one person, they spend the rest of their lives moping about, not really making an effort with anyone else.

  • Things are easier to get into than out of – You’ve said yes to helping a friend move or babysitting her impossible niece – just because you couldn’t get it together to say no. Or you’ve sort of let things slide a bit and got involved in a relationship that didn’t really work, because it was too much trouble to say so. Learn to say no.

  • Sometimes small actions have big consequences – Such as having unprotected sex or ‘borrowing’ money from the cash box.

  • No one has control over drugs – Many people, when they start taking drugs, think they can control it. Everyone thinks that in the beginning – and some even think that at the end – but still, lots of people die as a result of drug taking.

  • Get-rich-quick schemes – Everyone dreams of getting rich quickly. But unless you win the lottery, of which the chances are regrettably slim, don’t hold your breath for this one. Pyramid schemes and other scams – the only ones who make money out of these are the people who thought up this scheme to fleece you of your money.

  • Life does not stop when you get ditched – He’s left you for someone else, or even worse, he’s just left you. You don’t think you want to live and you don’t think you can carry on breathing. But, even though it doesn’t feel like that at the time, life does carry on. There is life beyond this person and chances are that given a while, you will stop feeling as if a sumo wrestler is sitting on your chest.


Anonymous said...

i totaly and completely agree on point number 2. after i tried and thought i could change someone. not gonna happen. just leave them. i've learnt my lessons.

PKW said...

I have largely been in agreement with no. 1 but of late I've become more skeptical and started asking why not? How come wahindi and chinese people do it so successfully? Trust is what matters, whether you are doing business with family, friends,close enemies,colleagues or other partners from wherever.

Mama said...

I totally agree and thank you for the insightful post kwanza ya paddling your own canoe surely one cannot depend on others forever!

Get rich schemes are obviously a no-no for people living in this century...maybe that's why I can't even think of going into business! Most business people always have ideas to get rich quickly.

I don't do business with friends in fact I don't mix friends with money at all. I don't lend my friends money and neither do I borrow money from anyone coz I won't be able to sleep at night if I do, even if its 50bob!

BP 1 said...

I partly agree with the first one, family relationship and sound business practices don’t mix well, but in case one thinks it must be done then, my advice, be ready to make lots of sacrifices with a patient heart. As for friends I guess good friends make best business partners, but it all depends on whom we call friends.

Shiko-Msa said...

Miss Divinity it never works. Just accept them as they are or if they're completely unbearable then let them go. There's another several billion out there.

PKW even Somalis are to some extent successful in inter family businesses. I don't know what happened to us along the way. Sour business deals are sometimes brought about by one party being greedy. If greediness creeps in and there's some hurt, the repercussions are much deeper if the feuding partners are family as opposed to friends.

Mama kwanza those ones of give me I'll give back next month. In some special cases I do give money but mostly not expecting it back. If someone goes on and on about how they'll repay and I know they're lying then I get pissed and tighten my hand.

There are some people who have had their canoe paddled for them all their lives so when they come into the big bad world full of very bad men and women they sort of just crumble. Job or business, wife or hubby, kids, car loans, mortgage or rent, illness etc etc - it's all too much for them.

Mama biashara you can do rationally though and build it pole pole.

BP I hear you. In a genuine friendship it's workable. As for family, how many sacrifices can you make if you're working with lazy yobs who're just having fun while you slave away? and then you share the business money?

Tamaku said...

Sad reality of the collapsed pyramid schemes is how some clergy were promoting them. I met 'intelligent' people who would never stop for pata potea on the street but they took loans out to chase a mirage (ponzis) because their pastor told them. Bad.

NiKolaS said...

uncomfortable truths these be. if only we took our own advice yea? less drama in our lives we would haves.

Shiko-Msa said...

Tamaku in parts of the country the Deci thing almost became a church thing with whole congregations joining at the behest of their pastors. So sad. And then some will come round and blame vanity for their poverty.

NiKolaS I think we need the drama kiasi. Imagine a drama less life? Heck there won't even be blogs.

Be silent said...

I so agree with all the above and i find myself guilty of a few things... which i will not tell otherwise it will not be my secret

Shiko-Msa said...

And we're not to tell secrets Be Silent. Lol. Goes around and then comes around.

joyunspeakable said...

HAIIIII...Shiko...you right on spot....wanna share this one with my buddies as well.

Mountainous said...

So true on all the points especially the secrets one and the get rich quick schemes, I was labelled as unambitious for refusing to join the pyramid schemes by some close friends but look whose laughing now.

Shiko-Msa said...

joyunspeakable most welcome. Spread the word.

Mountainous I also thankfully never fell for any of those schemes. Kwanza there's one I was told about that was starting at 40k!

savvy said...

Maybe you should add this to the list:

If he cheated on you once, he will do it again.

Shiko-Msa said...

Oh so true Savvy. Thanks for the addition.

Kelvin said...

Number 6 is spot-on! My dad used to warn me about the endless really late nights - to which I paid on head, of course.
Then one day my body refused to cooperate anymore and I was almost hospitalized.
I hear in Japan people sometimes die from overwork. Treat your body with respect and care, people.

Really nice list here :)

Cee said...

As my cousin always says, I'm not the one who can't keep a secret it's those that I tell that can't....Shiku these are hard truths but sometimes, we can't use the same rules on every situation...sometimes they do work but sometimes we just have to trust our instincts

The Mad Penguin said...

Oh, I just love #3! I don't think anyone should share secrets AT ALL, that's why it's called a secret. Most of the time a lot of secrets have nothing to do with me, so they end up dying with me (or I forget it, whichever comes first). Spreading secrets even to trusted persons change the secrets to gossip...and one as the secret keeper turns into gossip monger. Thanks for sharing. :)