It's Blog Day!

It’s blog day. Too bad I have to do this post in such a hurry. It’s almost evening of the material day (August 31^st) and it may just pass me by.

I have so many favorites in Blogosphere the only criteria I could think of was picking the very first blogs I got to know when I started blogging.

Mt Kirima
I first heard of the Blog Day concept from self confessed gadget freak Kirima. He has recently been out and about Kenya and brought us some interesting pictures and facts about magical Kenya that you might not find in an average tourist promotion catalogue.

Siku Moja
This is the one site from which I’ve learnt so much. A Nairobian Perspective brings blogging tips, business and entertainment. He and I share common interests especially about Reality TV. Recently I was pleasantly surprised when he put yours truly among his A list blog sites in Kenya.

Spin Digest
Hlumiti is my team mate here on Wanjiku. He has recently done some very comprehensive articles on Kenya Ports Authority on his site.

Maisha Africa
Maisha is just that. Life. The blogger posts anything from spectacular pictures of Magical Kenya to her personal struggles with stretch marks. She recently hosted my humble opinion on the Naivasha vampire and I’m looking forward to hosting her humble opinion here soon.

Our Kid
We seem to have very similar interests and a common point of view. We both have a love for reality TV shows. This blogger was recently kind enough to lend me a post which I could never have managed myself.

Those are 5 already but surely I can’t leave out Kumekucha – the first place I ever blogged seriously.

New Home

Yes you’re on the right page. You’re not lost. Someone was kind enough to tell me that my blog header sucks big time. I’ve always known that and was always going to do something about it – tomorrow or next week or the first Monday of next month. This tomorrow took so long but it’s finally come. So I’ve had an extreme makeover of sorts and here we are. A little bit more tweaking and rearranging and HTML here and there and I’ll be home.

Thanks guys for your visits.

Pauline Musyoka and Ida Odinga; Spouses or Escorts

Head of Civil Service Muthaura may very well wish to ingratiate himself to his bosses for the sake of securing a safe, and perhaps, lucrative retirement. But for anyone who still doubts, this is confirmation that the man considers himself a part of some untouchable ‘ruler class’ that manages the nation’s resources like personal property. And he thinks that all he has to do to sanitize this theft is mask it behind a thin veneer of ‘government decision’. He therefore states that “The government has taken cognizance of the critical role of the spouses of the VP and PM in projecting a positive image of our nation’s family values.”

Who, for purposes of this directive, is the ‘government’? If Muthaura and his co-conspirators want to buy or retain the support of the VP or PM, they should do so from their political ‘war chests’ instead of burdening citizens with additional expenditures that cannot even begin to add value to the nation’s image.

In any case, there is already an entertainment budget and civil service staff to host guests for the VP/PM in their public functions. The VP’s and PM’s official residences are also staffed by the government and the two men earn hefty entertainment allowances. The two could ask for an increment if they feel that the allowances are not enough. Whatever other activities their spouses are engaged in for the “public good” are and should remain voluntary. That is what gives them value. Otherwise they are under no obligation to engage in them and no one will hold it against them or their husbands if they did not.

One hopes that when parliament resumes, the legislators will reverse this repugnant directive. Otherwise where will the madness stop? Will the Minister for Foreign affairs seek ambassadorial recognition and allowances for his spouse who “projects a positive image” when accompanying him abroad? Won’t the Chief Justice demand a Judge’s allowances for his spouse who engages his colleagues in learned banter when they visit? And a Mayoral chain for His Worship’s spouse who cooks for the city fathers occasionally? How about Assistant Commissioner’s rank for the Police Commissioner’s spouse?

Unless they are accomplices in this theft, the two gracious ladies need to move fast to reject Muthaura’s duplicitous offer that will most certainly dent their reputation amongst right thinking citizens.

Projecting positive family values are the responsibility of every family and no one can pretend to be the bench mark or the national representative. Certainly, family values cannot be paid for, so that any family that allows itself to be valued at about Ksh 400,000 is decidedly very cheap and not worth emulating.

See Also: Downright Kenya - A UK to Kenya bicycle rally in support of Harambee Schools in Kenya.

Adios Kenyan Fifty Cents Coin

When did you last use a Kenyan 50 cent coin? Nay, when did you last see a Kenyan 50 cent coin? Chances are not any time in the recent past. Like the 5 cent, 10 cents and many other denominations of coins before it, the little coin is slowly getting edged out of use. Only this one is not being officially taken off circulation by Central Bank but by market forces.

According the Central Bank the 50 cent coin is still legal tender which every Kenyan is obliged to accept and use if given. But the situation on the ground is quite different. It’s use has all but ground to a halt. From small scale vegetable vendors to shopkeepers nobody wants anything to do with the coin that just a few years back could mean the difference between affording or not affording something. Just recently there was a complaint by Tusky’s customers that the supermarket was issuing too many worthless 50 cents coins as change. The customers in turn have nowhere to take them.

When many of us were growing up, there was such a thing as 10 cents. The big copper coin that could get you 2 sweets each costing 5 cents. Then there was the smaller 5 cents coin. Even big retail shops and supermarkets incorporated in their pricing. You could get an item for say, Kshs 29.95 or Kshs 39.15. Not any more. For current generations it sounds like ancient history.

It’s not by choice that people are shunning the little coin. It’s the cost of living that of late is raising by the day. The shilling still has some life although it is not as important as it was in yesteryears. That’s how come somebody can sell something worth 99 bob and not bother to give you a bob. And you don’t bother to follow it up either.

Here’s a site where you can see the history of Kenyan Coins.

Related Article: Is Your Money Safe In The Bank?

Big Brother Africa III

http://bigbrotherafrica3.blogspot.com/

Naivasha Vampire Godfrey Matheri

Kenya cannot claim to be any holier than the next country as far as crime is concerned. Car thefts, muggings, bank robberies and home break-ins are so much in the news we are almost getting used to them. The removal and sale of human parts is not new either. These bizarre incidences have been around since the early 90s. But there’s a new breed of sick minds on the loose. Guys who rape, torture, kill and even drink blood just for the thrill of it. The kind we read about in True Detective magazines and Anne Rule novels. Or watch on Crime and Investigations Networks. Now we have our very own - the late Simon Matheri and the Naivasha vampire Godfrey Matheri among others.

For now let’s look at Matheri the vampire. In his defense he says that he delivers the human blood to a local Bishop - Jeremiah Pallangyo of New Hope for all Nations. But the victims tell a different story. He drinks it. He taps it into a cup, then transfers it into a flask and sips it in intervals. It would probably not be strange if indeed the bishop asked for blood. There are enough cults doing the rounds and Naivasha for some reason seems to have more than it’s fair share of them. But before his implicating the Bishop is taken seriously, Matheri should have a thorough psychiatric examination in the hands of qualified doctors because chances are he’s mentally sick and could very easily be lying. That guy is not stable. Raping and keeping the victims’ underpants as trophies cannot possibly be what the Bishop ordered. That must be for his own twisted pleasure. His kind is well described in many criminal profiling books.

Looking at the whole saga from the victims eyes, it’s difficult to fathom the absolute terror that they go through. One look at Matheri even on TV is enough to send shivers down the spines of viewers. Ho does look scary. Seeing him up close siphoning blood? I would not wish such a thing even on my worst enemy. Like the young victim who says he drew blood and when one vein ran out he cut a different vein and drew more until he filled a cup! My heart goes out to the young woman and I hope she will be able to undergo intensive counseling to rid her mind of the trauma.

Now for the residents of Kihoto. They seem to know the guy and what has been going on quite well. He has been in and out of police custody several times. How come he survived to spread his terror for so long. And the police, I’m no detective but I thought crime scenes are usually sealed off for fine tooth combing. But here the police demolished the house. They probably buried some crucial clues that might have helped further in the investigations.

One shudders to even think of such a guy in our overcrowded prisons. We have all sorts of criminals in there but nobody wants to be sharing a room with a vampire. He could just get thirsty at night.

Big Brother Africa III

There are controversial reality TV shows. And then there is Endemol’s Big Brother Africa whose third season kicks off Sunday 24^th August. All the usual suspects will be there - Angola, Botswana, Ghana, Malawi, Namibia, Nigeria, Kenya, South Africa, Uganda, Tanzania, Zambia and Zimbabwe. The show will be shot on location in South Africa.

On the surface, the Big Brother game plan is as simple as can be. Lock up a group of disparate people in a house rigged with cameras and microphones (27 and 48 respectively to be precise) and then broadcast to the world their drinking, dancing, flirting, quarreling, cooking, showering, getting bored, sleeping, waking up – all the works. Slightly deeper it’s actually about human psychology which the viewers can see at work throughout the show as confinement and monotony take toll on the contestants. It plays on the contestants’ emotions and frustrates them to a point where their reactions are no longer what they would be in normal circumstances. To see or talk to no one except fellow housemates 24/7 for 3 months I think is the real test.

I’ve never bought the idea of contestants going in there to represent their countries. Represent their countries in what? Of what representation was Alex Holi of BBA1 and later Jeff of BBA2 to Kenya? Mwisho and Richard to Tanzania? Other than wrapping themselves in the national flag, contestants are there to have fun, promote themselves and have a shot at the grand prize. Gaetano of BBA1 for instance was thrust into the limelight courtesy of the show and is now doing well for himself. Others like Jeff promoted their books and their mushroom business, otherwise Kenya does not do her sit ups like that.

Ofunemama of Nigeria on the other hand…... of all the motherly hardworking good she may have done in the house throughout the show, the one thing people will always remember about her is finger gate - the seriously humiliating episode which biggie should have slotted in the late night uncensored show. That is if he had to air it at all. But then again it’s an unscripted show about nudity, sex, beer and romance and the contestants know what they’re getting themselves into. At least we learned something from that episode though. A girl does not drink until she’s comatose. If a girl misbehaves with a guy the big deal is on her……. not on the guy. Too bad.

The Middle East attempted their own version of Big Brother in 2004 with countries like Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, Lebanon, Oman, Egypt, Iraq, Jordan, Kuwait, Somalia, Syria and Tunisia participating. But due to religious protests it did not air past week one. I never got to watch it but I’m sure it was nowhere near as immodest as what we have in BBA and other BB versions across the globe.

Biggie promises a more wicked show this time. Let’s wait and see. I’m looking forward to blogging about it but not here. It will have a new home.

I Wanna Text You Up

Guest Post from ourdkidbert.blogspot.com.

Smtyms I dnt rily unstnd da msgs pple snt 2 me thru da 4ne so I thot t wld b a gd idea 2 pas da msg dat brevty is, in txt msgs, not da sol of wit. So hia I am str8 up, telng u dat dnt b tripn: write the words in full, please!

Ur msg may b kul but sup wit da abbreviations? Credo? Tym? Wat? Ur in a hurry whn txting pples? Wat is hapng is terrbl! Tis a WOMBAT! Waste of money brains n tym!

Dring my bday, I got sevrl ‘H Bday’ msgs! Imagine dat! I cnt w8 4 X-mas coz t wl b sun hia n u cn bet ur ass dat pple wl txt u to ask: Wea u @? Mry X-mas n hppy nu yr!

Grrrrrr! Tll b gr8 2 ctch up. But dnt do it thru sms. Plz! Plz! Plz! I rlly wnt 2 knw hw ur festiv cson is bt not n dat manner.

Nxt al hia anaa guy telng me hw he saw sm chik readn my blog n burstg out laughg. Wat am I mnt 2 do? Bottle ma blog n sel it in spmkts?

Dat wnt sel 4 ril! Ppl cn say, ‘U r da bomb’ bt wnt buy da blog. All I cn prms is da nxt blog ll b kul.

Or my bddy who txts me n sez: Mt me @ Ambsdr Hotl. Let hm thnk abt tht! Why dint I sho up? How cm? Well, I dint undstnd! So he txts me again: I snt mny msgs en no rply fro u!

So hia is da rules! If you mis me, don snt me dos txts dat say: Gawd! Bn mssng u. Cnt blve u dnt no tht! Spendg lotsa tym frm u is no gd 4 mi. I lyk u so much! U mek mi proud 2 b ya frnd!

I wnt undstd! And u cn bet I wont rply wit a txt dat sez: U r not juz ma pal bt ma pearl! Cant blv u lyk me so mch yet am juz a 1ST class guy wearng 2ND class clad in dis 3RD wld city of Nrb.

No. Dis gotta stop! Or sun, I cn picture my boss snding a txt memo to da staff: WHEN @ WAK, DNT RID A MAG! DNT CHT ONLYN!

Undstd? Aaaaah. Tis getg beta! N thn 1 of us will rply: UGTBK :---)

You’ve got to be kidding? To da boss? Dat wld b crzy! Cm on! L8rs!

Dagoretti Houses Of Filth

The closure last week of the Dagoretti slaughterhouses is no surprise. As much as we do expect to see blood in a slaughter house, the footage of the abattoirs on TV was disturbing. The kind you really don’t want to see. There was bloody goo on the floor and workers wading through it in gumboots. There was more blood and parts on the counters. And to think that after all this the effluent is then directed to the already choking Nairobi River!

Closing the slaughter houses was an almost obvious course of action. It’s the Dagoretti residents’ reaction that was rather out of line. Some time back on TV, in an unrelated topic, Police spokesman Eric Kiraithe remarked that Kenyans want the law to be followed but only when it does not apply to them. That statement rang true as the residents of Dagoretti took to the streets last week to protest the closure of the filth emitting abattoirs. Staging a demonstration and engaging the police in running battles shows that Kenyans are facing a phenomenon that is new to them – following the law. There are set environmental regulations and it’s up to every mwananchi to follow them. If the government and UNEP are pumping in excess of 150 Million into cleaning the Nairobi River, then everyone who can should also play an individual role towards the same and the environment as a whole.

The butchers are not being asked to stop operating, they’re being asked to clean up their act as far as waste management is concerned. Dumping live waste into the river is something the butchers should have stopped doing out of their own conscience long before NEMA came calling. And furthermore, just like the matatu owners during the Michuki crackdown, the abattoir owners had been given a three month notice by NEMA. Only after expiry of the grace period did NEMA take the drastic action. I remember when Michuki was streamlining the matatu industry, Kenyans were right behind him and were ready to become a walking nation for as long as it took in support of the proposed changes. We should apply the same spirit and if need be go meat free for as long as it takes. Not just for the sake of the environment but for our health as well.

As much as we want the government to streamline every aspect of our lives, we as the citizens also have our part to play. Aside from the butcher issue, take the case of the overloading matatus. Who are the passengers? Is it not the very wananchi who are vilifying Mwakwere for sleeping on the job? Are they not asleep on the job too? If you get into a matatu that is already full and you don’t fasten your seatbelt, what does Mwakwere have to do with it? To a very large extent Mwakwere has failed, but to a smaller extent so have the citizens. Likewise if we pollute the rivers ourselves, who then are we going to blame?

Beth Mugo’s intervention if we may call it so is just pure politics. She’s in a classic catch 22 situation. She’s the minister for sanitation and should be blessing NEMA for what they did but at the same time it is her constituents who are polluting the environment. She needs their votes next election and we can therefore see why she’s supporting them as they break the law. For her it’s just political expediency.

Mwalimu King'ang'i - Kenya's Funny Man

An internet search for Daniel Ndambuki gives amazingly few results with equally scanty detail. Which is fairly bizarre for a man whose trade hinges on popular ratings. And I have little doubt that Ndambuki is perhaps the wittiest stand-up comedian to come out of these parts in our times.

The man’s wit is powerful and makes for a hilarious beginning to every morning on Classic FM’s breakfast show where he doubles as the streetwise Mwalimu Kingangi and tea-lady Philgonias. Co-hosting the show with Maina Kageni, he performs lots of other flawless imitations only the way a consummate artiste can. It is widely believed that he enjoys quite a large fan base that has anchored the show at the top of the FM stations’ breakfast ‘battles’. I’m an ardent fan of his too and would love to keep track of their morning antics except that the duo spoils the act for me when they relapse, as Maina invariably ensures, to the depraved ‘pale pale’ dialogues.

Churchill, as Ndambuki is known in his stand-up comedy acts, is well reputed for his refreshingly ‘clean’ content that fits comfortably with family audiences. Many who have attended his shows will attest that his evergreen repertoire consistently delivers as billed. But now, after the end of the Redykyulass shows on national TV in which Churchill regularly featured, his fans outside Nairobi continue to miss out on his side-splitting performances.

Dan Ndambuki’s comedy has been recorded and several DVD volumes made but one is likely to have a pretty hard time laying hands on them locally. I have made rounds to several outlets here in Mombasa to no avail but find that they can be purchased online from Kilimanjaro Entertainment which is based in the US.

A DVD collection of Churchill’s Comedy Classics would be a prized feature to any home library and a befitting chronicle to this gem of an artiste.

Posted From HLumiti’s Theatre Vista.

Getting Back On Track After The Chaos

For those of us who were either too young or were not yet born by 1982, what happened after last year's general elections was the closest we have seen of anarchy in Kenya. For close to 3 weeks we could not leave our houses. And due to the live media ban, there was no local news either. We watched our country on CNN, BBC and Al Jazeera and could not believe what was happening.

The whole thing made me realize just how much we take things for granted. By the end of the second week of fighting, some of my food supplies were finished. All the nearby shops and kiosks were turned upside down and looted. I could have given anything to have some green colour on my plate. I missed the simplicity of walking to mama mboga’s and getting my regular fix of green vegetables. In normal circumstances you may want something but you don’t have the money. This was reversed during the clashes. I had cash for a bunch of kale and other vegetables but there were none around. Such irony.

It was just after the Christmas celebrations and one thing I had in plenty was beef and goat meat which was meant for the New Year celebrations that never were. At some point we ate meat for 4 days straight lunch and dinner. By the fifth day, I did not even want to see a live goat walking or hear a meeeeh from the neighboring compound. I was done with meat. Luckily things had cooled down and the market was open though with very few traders. A head of cabbage was going for Kshs.500 bob! A small bunch of kale which could not feed 2 people was going for Kshs.50 bob.

To compound my woes, a loved one was admitted in hospital on the other side of town. She had started feeling unwell a few days earlier and we tried to medicate at home. On the eve of the New Year, when political tension was probably at it’s worst, it became apparent that we had to reach a hospital. It was 3.00 in the night. The nearest hospital we visited was closed due to the chaos and the only other option was across town. From home all the way to the hospital about 5 Kilometers away, there was no other vehicle on the road. Very different from past New Year’s eves when the town, pubs and restaurants are so packed.

At the hospital there was an option to either treat and discharge or admit. We opted for admission without a second thought. It was too risky to go back home with her not knowing whether the medication would work. There was a shortage of staff due to the transport crunch but still the hospital was much safer. The next day and the next the clashes were so bad I could not make it to hospital to see my patient. That was a good 2 days with not visitors for her. But she soon got better and came home.

With all the nearby shops looted to the last sweet, the only place to go shopping was Nakumatt. But the queues there meant being out of the house for a minimum of 4-5 hours and I was not about to risk that. In those days, you never knew whether the 1 or 4 Oclock news could trigger more fighting. So it was back home empty handed. Luckily we had the basics like sugar, tea, coffee, maize meal, wheat flour and rice. There was no milk and vegetables were scarce.

Those were tough times but all that is over now and we thank God for that.

House Drunk on Alvaro.

Alvaro recently found it’s name in parliament with nominated MP Rachel Shebesh putting the Minister for Industrialization to task to confirm or deny that the drink contains no alcohol. To back her claims, she said that tests carried out on Alvaro in school laboratories proved that it contains traces of alcohol. Yatta MP Charles Kilonzo added that if exposed to sunshine for one hour, it turns alcoholic. Or rather it produces traces of ethanol.



Be that as it may, it is rather naïve for Ms. Shebesh to link Alvaro consumption to the recent spate of school unrest. Was she implying that the students were so high on fermented Alvaro when they were burning their dormitories? With drugs having found their way into schools and little bottles of hard liquor selling for a song, what time do the students have to expose Alvaro to the sun to get a miniscule percentage of alcohol?



Anyway, Government Chemist and Kenya Bureau Of Standards refuted those claims and confirmed that Alvaro is not alcoholic. So KBS says one thing and school laboratories say another. Who would we rather listen to? From a consumer’s point of view I don’t think Alvaro has the slightest iota of alcohol. However hard the DIY bug bites, very few people will take the trouble to ferment their own beer.



With EABL celebrating the manufacture of seven million bottles since Alvaro’s launch four short months ago, methinks the alcohol rumor is the work of corporate lynch mobs who are feeling the heat.



Related Post: Alvaro-Redbull-Malta Guinness

Are Anti-Smoking Campaigns Working?

Pictures Courtesy of BBC



It seems smokers the world over are persons under siege. There are anti-smoking campaigns upon anti-smoking campaigns, warnings, heavy taxes and rising prices. And with good reason. We are all in agreement that smoking indeed does harm your health.

For many years, smokers have only had to contend with a faintly written message on the packet. These often stark warnings vary from country to country and here are some examples. Cigarette smoking may be harmful to your health. Smoking causes mouth and throat cancer. Smoking clogs your arteries. 85% of lung cancers are caused by smoking. 80% of lung cancer victims die within 3 years. Smoking is lethal. Smoking makes your skin age. Smoking damages sperm and reduces fertility. Smoking can cause a slow and painful death – and so on and so forth. The warnings are endless.

Here in Kenya, rules are getting tougher by the day. Smokers now cannot buy a single stick and they have to go smoking in designated areas in far flung corners of town. Other countries have taken the battle against the stick a notch higher with companies being required to print shocking graphic images on the packets depicting the effects of cigarette smoking. Imagine buying your favorite brand of cigarettes only to be confronted by any of the following gruesome images on the packet:

• Diseased Lungs
• Rotten Teeth
• Gangrenous Toes
• Damaged hearts
• A fetus in the womb
• A dying man in an oxygen mask
• A coughing child
• A limp cigarette signifying impotence

The images are very disturbing. I mean you do not want to see a fetus on a cigarette pack. The graphics are meant to shock the user and evoke mental images of him/herself ending up really sick or in the case of ladies, giving birth to a sick or deformed baby. In short they’re meant to make smoking less glamorous especially to the young. The strategy has worked in countries where it has been operating for some years.

So smoking is harmful to your health. But so are many other things. Beer, fast foods, Let’s take fast foods for example. They may not have 4000 chemicals in a single plate but what about their high percentage of fat and salt and the subsequent effect on cholesterol and high blood pressure? Is it not fair then to expect fast food restaurants to have pictures of people who have been affected by prolonged fast food consumption?

Traffic Jams Coming To Mombasa

Traffic jams will soon be a thing of the past in Nairobi according to Kenyan Prime Minister Raila Odinga and Nairobi Metropolitan Minister Mutula Kilonzo. Work towards building bypasses and demolishing round abouts could begin in as little as 6 weeks. All the bypasses will be completed within the lifetime of the coalition.

I’ve never been caught in one of those snarl ups in Nairobi but from what I see and hear, I sincerely hope those dreaded jams will come to an end or at the very least be minimized to a manageable level. It’s such a waste of time and money to have hundreds of people eager to work yet they have to waste several hours sitting in their cars every morning.

I hope the government has plans to modify Mombasa too which right now is in the initial steps of nightmarish jams. It’s not that bad as yet. Unless there is an accident or something, the most you can spend in rush hour traffic is 15 minutes. But this is slowly changing as more people buy matatus and personal cars. I believe this is the best time to look into constructing other bridges and passages into and out of the island. The tricky bit about Mombasa is that majority of people work on the island but live in the mainland. For them, it’s painful to think that there’s only a few meters of sea between their homes and offices and yet one has to go all the way round to Nyali bridge, Makupa course-way or Likoni ferry to get to town.
Nyali Bridge is mostly smooth sailing but every once in a while there is a small jam caused by a back log of cars at junctions. And even then it’s mostly a moving jam. It’s rare that movement comes to a complete standstill. Nyali bridge opens up to the northern side of the Coast to all the beautiful and famous beach hotels like Whitesands, Voyager, Nyali Beach, Severin Sea Lodge, etc.

South Coast is home to thousands of people and also to some of the most spectacular beach hotels and islands around. Yet the only way to get there is via the ferry which of late has been in the news for all the wrong reasons. Incidences of ferries full of people stalling and heading for high seas are becoming disturbingly common. A bridge is needed at the Likoni crossing more than anywhere else. But currently our transport minister is talking of renovating the current 40 year old ferries.

Makupa Course-way is by far the most notorious as far as traffic snarlups are concerned. It’s the route out of Mombasa to upcountry and therefore there’s a lot of traffic with buses, lorries and matatus. It is also the route to and from the airport. It’s proximity to the port means that at any one time there is a large number of huge lorries packed with containers headed upcountry, or even to countries like Uganda and Rwanda. The jams here are caused by accidents overloaded lorries stalling in the middle of the road.


Mombasa is getting bigger and busier and this is the time to look into the future and avoid some of the problems that have befallen other big cities.