Friday, February 20, 2009





She’s a record holder for the world's longest nails. She’s been growing them since 1979. She recently lost the nails in a car crash.

I’m sure over the years, the good lady has adapted to living with her self imposed predicament but I still can’t help wondering how she gets through life from the very mundane tasks like eating to the more involving ones like combing her hair without the nails tripping all over themselves. She could easily delegate cooking, laundry and other household chores but how about tasks like cleaning, dressing and grooming herself? And getting intimate? Is there such a thing as hands off intimacy?

23 Comments:

Rafiki said...

Her nails are ugly, her face is ugly, and I am sure we don't want to see any nipslips from her. Shiko, please bring us some more angels!

Eunuch said...

Ciku,
You must have been infected by mama to bring devils here. With you populating here with ugly talons who will we turn to for visual therapy?

That said the nails are reall ugly and all the bearer has is fame on the ogre frame. She cannot be intimate, na nani? Ashindwe!!

Darius Stone said...

LOL @the equal opportunity haters of all that isn't beautiful.

Speaking of those nails lakini and the delegation theory - Aish! there's some things you can't delegate especially for a woman in the bathroom. Intimacy is a secondary project that should never be addressed before dealing with the basic question of hygiene.

Eunuch said...

And for imagination purposes assuming the orgre were to go intimate, what positio would she assume to spare mauling/gorging the partner? Some CRUCIFIXION POSTURE, obtusely spread out???

Mama said...

Hehehehehehe Shiko, I am reading the haters :-) comments and I can't help it.

I am sure this lady is fed, bathed, groomed and has no intimacy courtesy of the talons.

HNG said...

My thoughts exactly! Can you make love without using your hands? Besides, those things must have been such a turnoff!

NovaS said...

I have seen this woman here for so many times on television.. that's kinda freaky....

SUPERNOVA and SWEETPAIN
ANGELS IN MY LIFE

Anonymous said...

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2258733.ece

Parents of twins at 15.

joyunspeakable said...

intimacy? my foot

Eunuch said...

Ciku,
I have a query. What time is your clock here referencing? Are you one hour ahead by design or accident?

Shiko-Msa said...

Coming soon Rafiki/Eunuch. The Angels that is. Hang in there.

Well put Stone Cold. These days the world is crazy though. Maybe she delegates hygiene too you never know.

Mama what a life!

HNG crucification it must be. BTW One man's turn off is another man's turn on. You just never know maybe there's someone out there salivating at the sight of them.

Super Nova welcome. I would not like to see those nails in motion. The stills will do for me.

Anon thanks for the list. There sure is a baby boom among the British teenagers.

Joy Lol. I hear you.

Shiko-Msa said...

Eunuch uko dunia kipande gani? Let's start from there.

31337 said...

oh dear me! well if they have been hanging onto her for that many years they cannot be pretty yes? identity crisis the poor lass must have now that she is quite ordinary without her nails!

meanwhile i welcome self back to your blog.

Eunuch said...

Ciku,
I am in MARS directly above Kenya and so same time. Yours is one hour ahead ama ni links corrupted?

pink m said...

Me, I was coming to rant about J G being a traitor.

I'm thinking it must be real easy for her to scratch her back?

Mambo said...

My God, her sight at night might be very disturbing. She looks like a demon.

Shiko-Msa said...

Intelligensia I second you in welcoming self back. She'll probably need to see a shrink to help her cope with the loss of the said nails.

Eunuch I'm finally getting the time error down here on earth. Could be the links. I will remove the offending object until Clocklink gets their act together.

Pink you're still free to rant about JG. Here anything goes. I don't think it's easy to scratch any part of her body.

Mambo welcome to my madness. She does look rather sinister now that you mention the night.

Our Kid said...

Shiko, you really nailed it this time. I mean, you see nails, and all you think about is how she gets nailed?

Come on! Hands off intimacy? Talk about an oxymoron.

Shiko-Msa said...

Our kid but i also was curious about other things as well. See there, eating, combing hair etc etc? come on Lol.

Mama Shujaa said...

LOL. What an interesting post and even funnier comments. I was thinking that maybe her nails were strong enough for her to balance on (shellac applications, etc.) - that would take care of one of the items; the eating, combing hair, etc...I am not sure.

Shiko-Msa said...

Mama Shujaa I had to google Shellac. I think I want some.

UrXlnc said...

ok, i like all those events eating, combing hair, er... intimacy, etc.

how about just walking down a street or driving. normal people walk with hands by their sides at least some part of the distance, cant see that happening.

on the plus side, at least we know she doesn't pick her nose, hehehehe.

Shiko-Msa said...

Lol Your Excellency at least we have a plus to the madness. I've since come to the conclusion that she delegates just about everything. Driving included.

No she can't pick her nose. Nor can she use her nails as toothpicks or ear buds or indeed any other bizarre things people do with finger nails.