Wanjiku Unlimited

This is it.

2010-10-21T10:51:00.003+03:00

This is it. Plenty of times I've been told that the number of times I've moved house is criminal, and I quite agree. This time though, this is it.

With a spanking new shikomsa.com, I don't see where else I could possibly move to. Unless they overhaul the internets and the whole dot com thing and call it hyphen com or something. In which case we shall all have to move house....

Darius Stone is already on the other side. He got there before me!

2009-07-22T09:46:00.001+03:00

I'm a dog. And I'm a member.

This Wont Hurt A bit

2009-07-16T11:48:00.003+03:00

There was this talk earlier in the week of female nurses being authorized to administer the cut to men.

There are those who are looking at it as any other medical procedure, much like male gynecologists treating women, and as long as it’s delivered with utmost professionalism, they have no problem with it. But in some cultures, and to a large extent in the common order of things, it is taboo for a woman who is not a wife (no mention of mpango wa kando) to see a man’s privates.

I’d be the least qualified to opine on who should deliver the cut. Not to take lightly people’s cultures and the strong beliefs that surround circumcision though, me thinks a little professional TLC from a nurse of whatever sex is not a very bad idea. I tried to ask a few questions around the office but quickly gave up when I realized that many minds live permanently in the gutter.

I guess in the end it will boil down to cultural influences and personal choice. Such a thing cannot be forced on anyone. And before I’m done doing this article now I see that we can make babies without men! That’s an article for another day.

Archives: This time last year.

Do Not Adjust Your Monitor

2009-07-07T10:16:00.002+03:00

Hi people.

Goodbye Blogger. Hello Wordpress. Goodbye .blogspot. Hello .butterfly.co.ke.

I’m building a new home on Wordpress, a move that I think is long overdue. One I’ve heard some good things about Wordpress, two I have a bit of a teeth pulling history with blogger, three change is always good. So if some time in the next few days you land on Wanjiku and don’t find the palms, do not adjust your monitor. We could do with adjustments to your blogrolls though.

At the same time I’ll be blogging closer home on the .butterfly.co.ke platform. Talk of killing a bird with two stones. Killing two birds with one stone. Which is it? I forget. I’ll take both.

Si you guys know you’re the best. Nuff respect. It’s been 1 year 3 months and160 posts although I doubt some like this one and this one and this one qualify as posts. Your support has been tremendous, your comments have been solid, civil, spot on, hilarious, and some bordering on crazy gone mad. Many a time they leave me in stitches. My journey through….…………. wait am I eulogizing us? Jeez it’s only a shift! Same blogger, same blogthren.

Let’s get outa here.

Quiet Please

2009-07-03T09:42:00.004+03:00

I’m not writing this from a position of authority or experience but rather from hearsay from some reliable sources. Neither am I suggesting that the sick be left in hospitals to ail in loneliness. Every situation is different and it’s up to those close to the sick person to weigh and see. For now, hear me out.

Not every one wants to be visited in hospital when they’re admitted. It’s just that many people find it most unkind to come outright and say so. They therefore endure endless visits while deep down they wish they could be with the closest family and friends only. Some wish to be left alone to come to terms with their ailments and recuperate. Depending on the type of ailment, some patients suffer from phonophobia. In extreme cases it’s a morbid fear of voices including your own, but in milder and more common circumstances, it’s just the need for peace and quiet. As such, it’s common in, but not confined to hospitals.

I lost my workmate to breast cancer some time ago and at some point during her admission days, she made it categorically clear that she did not want any visitors outside of close family. Prior to that her room was always jammed with church groups, neighbors, chama ladies, family, friends, and workmates. She was sick. And then she was sick and tired of the endless chatter, the oh so predictable comfort messages and people gawking at the tubes and hospital contraptions running from her chest and urinary system to little bags on the side of the bed. She was tired of smiling nicely and shaking hands when infact the one thing she wanted to do was curl up and die.

She’s not the only person I know who has opted not to have visitors. When my sister gave birth to her first born, only a handful of people knew that her due date had arrived and that she had checked into hospital and given birth. That of course was for the purpose of ferrying supplies to the hospital and acting in case anything went wrong. The rest could go see mother and baby at home when they had been discharged and were in considerably good shape to welcome visitors.

Visiting a sick friend or relative is a gesture in utmost kindness. But let’s face something. There’s the lot that visits out of malicious curiosity. The ones who come to poke holes into the doctors’ prognosis – to concoct and give credence to their future speeches of ‘nilimuona. hiyo haikuwa cancer ni ukimwi. Alikuwa ameisha na nywele zimekuwa singa. (I saw her. It was not Cancer. It was Aids. She had lost weight and her hair had thinned). Duh! Of course she had lost weight and her hair had thinned!

I’d drafted this post some time back and buried it in my unpublished folder. It has now been re-inspired by this mega rant on the Muthaura visits. And speaking of Muthaura, there must be a few psychos who were visiting him in Hospital just to gauge the possibility of their kin and tribesmen succeeding him in office.

To Veil Or Not To Veil.

2009-06-26T15:49:00.003+03:00

Picture From Yahoo News.

France is concerned about the increase in the number of women wearing the Burqa within its borders. It seems a showdown is looming between Muslims and the French Government after President Sarkozy hinted on banning the garment in public places, a move sure to create some tension.

A burqa is described by Wisegeek as a piece of clothing that covers a woman from head to foot. There is an opening for the eyes but the rest of the body, except the hands, is covered.

France views the garment as an infringement of women’s rights and a breach to individual freedoms. Furthermore the Burqa is said to hinder good communication especially among public servants and students.

As expected, there is a backlash already and it may get worse. Muslims feel attacked yet again after the banning in 2004 of the Islamic head gear along with any visible symbols of religious inclinations in public places especially schools.

There is quite a debate on Debatepedia and more information on sites like Peace Women, Innovative Minds and Huffington Post.

Imanyara.

2009-06-19T08:21:00.000+03:00

Gitobu Imanyara’s mega assassination claims: cheap publicity stunt or do state assassins actually put their murderous blue print in traceable writing?

I’m not surprised that his letter and list of wanteds did not make headlines in any of the dailies today.

Every Day Home Truths

2009-06-16T08:44:00.002+03:00

Some home truths I read about this morning from health24 and thought I could share. Mistakes we make every other day and then wonder, ‘how could I have been so stupid?’ These are summaries. For the full scoop, head here.

Doing Business with family and friends – When you’re at loggerheads with someone over a business deal, and this person happens to be a friend or relative, that relationship will invariably suffer.

Thinking you can fix people – people can only change themselves – you cant make someone else’s life different. Accept that some people are just unfixable and the problem does not lie with you, it lies with them.

Expecting people to keep secrets – Now there are some friends/relatives you can trust, but the point is that few people can keep secrets. Not for long anyway. If you want to keep something really secret, tell no one.

The Debt trap – Banks and shops don’t give you credit because they want to be nice. They give you credit because they can make money out of you. Ok, there are things like cars and houses which very few people can pay cash for, but once you start buying things like household goods, clothing and groceries for credit, you’re in trouble.

Not getting things in writing – Where something is agreed upon, such as a special agreements in hiring or job contracts, get it in writing. If you’re unable to prove that someone agreed to, you have no leg to stand on.

Rubbish in, rubbish out – Your body cannot be abused endlessly without any consequences. Late nights, smoking, lack of exercise and hard drinking – these are all things that exact their toll. Bodies fight back. Make friends with yours and treat it kindly.

Everyone has to paddle their own canoe – Even if your parents or lover are prepared to take responsibility for your life, enabling you to do very little, sooner or later you will have to paddle your own canoe. Do your own thing – it’ll make you feel better, and it is, after all, your responsibility.

Assuming there is one love-of-your-life – Many people make this mistake and when things don’t work out with this one person, they spend the rest of their lives moping about, not really making an effort with anyone else.

Things are easier to get into than out of – You’ve said yes to helping a friend move or babysitting her impossible niece – just because you couldn’t get it together to say no. Or you’ve sort of let things slide a bit and got involved in a relationship that didn’t really work, because it was too much trouble to say so. Learn to say no.

Sometimes small actions have big consequences – Such as having unprotected sex or ‘borrowing’ money from the cash box.

No one has control over drugs – Many people, when they start taking drugs, think they can control it. Everyone thinks that in the beginning – and some even think that at the end – but still, lots of people die as a result of drug taking.

Get-rich-quick schemes – Everyone dreams of getting rich quickly. But unless you win the lottery, of which the chances are regrettably slim, don’t hold your breath for this one. Pyramid schemes and other scams – the only ones who make money out of these are the people who thought up this scheme to fleece you of your money.

Life does not stop when you get ditched – He’s left you for someone else, or even worse, he’s just left you. You don’t think you want to live and you don’t think you can carry on breathing. But, even though it doesn’t feel like that at the time, life does carry on. There is life beyond this person and chances are that given a while, you will stop feeling as if a sumo wrestler is sitting on your chest.

Stuck In Traffic? Drive Like An Ant.

2009-06-10T14:36:00.004+03:00

Scientists are down on the ground trying to steal a few ideas from the humble intelligent ant (hereinafter called ‘the more intelligent driver’) on how to manage traffic. And with good reason. Even when they’re moving in their millions, the little critters never get into snarl ups. I don’t know just how applicable their intelligence could be when it comes to the assortment of mean machines that roam the roads. In defense of the human driver:

First the ‘more intelligent drivers’ are not driving. They are walking. Who knows maybe they too could bring on the jams if they were driving. Walking humans do not get jammed now do they?

Second, our paths (roads) are not soaking in pheromones to let other drivers know what’s cutting. We have indicators and other signals which we sometimes don’t use. We have overweight cops and traffic rules which we follow only when absolutely necessary. And we have hand signs. An insulting finger sometimes. Oh and we have honks - shoulders to lean on in fits of road rage.

The ‘more intelligent drivers’ do not suffer from such affiliations as inflated egos. They don’t have their ears jammed with modern bits of technology. They don’t eat, drink coffee, dance, talk, SMS or tweet when driving.

Ok so ants move in single file, never overtaking one another. Maybe they’re never in a hurry and they don’t need/cant handle the adrenaline. Plus they can create divert paths out of nowhere in the unlikely even that they encounter an intelligent grid lock. In any event, they’re so feather light they can walk all over one another.

Seriously though, there is something there. Apparently ant traffic principles are already in use in some developed countries. Maybe not because the ants discovered them before but because some ways to control traffic are just obvious. What remains is implementation. Developed countries have not grabbed their road reserves, they’ve not yet emptied their coffers, and they have the political will to build Autobahns.

In our case, that would have to be 2031 when we have intelligent roads that can sniff a snarl up from miles away and miraculously open up side roads (leaving the VIP ones alone) to divert traffic and ease the impending jam already.

Desperate Wishlist

2009-06-04T14:14:00.004+03:00

My sister and her family have been in the US for some months now. They’re all still homesick and missing things which we take for granted here. So when someone was travelling to visit her, she sent me a list of things she’d give an arm and a leg for. I must say some of them are surprising because she never really touched them when she was around. Like Clove Oil. True that saying that you never know what you got until it’s gone. Here is her list. She’s so nostalgic she wrote it mostly in Swahili. I’ve translated as many as I can but some are so indigenous I don’t know whether they have English names.

Iliki 3-4 Kgs – Cardamons. Iliki is very good for tea and general cooking. It’s a distinguishing ingredient in Mahamri, Pilau and Biriani. But 4 Kgs of Iliki or any spice for that matter is too much!

Mdalasini – Cinnamon. With it’s sweet spicy scent and flavour, it’s good for tea, pilau and many other dishes.

Tangawizi – Ginger. It’s often combined with Iliki above to make a mean cup of spiced tea. It’s also perfect for stews and marinades. Fresh ginger goes especially well with fish.

Ukwaju – Tamarind. Seeds of the Mkwaju tree. They’re brown and sticky when fresh. Tamarind is widely used to make sauce to go along with deep fried potatoes (Viazi karai) which are sold at every other corner in the estates and restaurants at the coast. It has a tangy sour taste. Also used to make tamarind juice.

Mbaazi – Pigeon peas. Upcountry hardly a wedding or any such grand occasion goes by without mashed mbaazi. It’s also a breakfast delicacy especially at the coast where it’s made with thick coconut milk and served with mahamri and spiced tea.

Hamira – Yeast. Used in place of baking powder to make dough for mahamri. Yeast is the major difference between mahamri and mandazi.

Mafuta ya Karafuu – Clove Oil. One word – pungent. The only use I can think of for clove oil is for massaging sore joints. But the stuff stinks to high heaven and no matter how it’s packaged, the smell will still permeate to anything and anyone around.

Chepe – Coconut oil. It is said to be very good for hair and skin care. Mothers especially use it on their babies because it’s natural and mild. While it is not as pungent as Karafuu, it has a not so nice smell.

Majani ya export – Good old authentic tea leaves. No vanilla, hibiscus, strawberry, cranberry or any such enrichments.

Solar Dried Mkunde and Mchicha - Mkunde is cowpeas leaves and mchicha is amaranth. They’re dried and sold in a farm outside Kikambala so I got a small trip out of town.

Swahili Sandals size 43 - several pairs - Beautiful handmade sandals embellished with multi-coloured beads. With a size as large and as uncommon as 43, they’re not kept in stock. I had to place an order and wait for 1 day for them to be made.

Royko – I Kg.

Soya Chunks (Nakumatt) – But the US is the mother of Soya!

Njahi – Black beans. There must be some around there?

Kunde – Cowpeas.

Unga wa Uji – A lot. She’s a new mother.

Dry peas.

Salimia Ointment – Sounds familiar. What was it used for again? There must be an equivalent there surely?

Hatha – stinging nettle.

Bonisan Gripe Water – I see someone has not yet known her way around town.

Sunlight soap – Come on now! Ok. She has only ever cleaned her babies with sunlight and the new one is no exception it seems.

Farmers Choice Sausages, mabuyu (baobab fruit), achari (spice sundried mangoes), sim sim seeds, kashata , vibibi, vitumbua, ufuta, woishe my dear sis!

I was not about to disappoint a homesick lady and new mum. The travel agency disputed just about all the items but rules are made to be broken no? Save for the perishables, medicines and oils, just about everything else has safely been delivered to her in US.

What are you people out there missing or missed while you were away?

Also see: Our Reading Spaces. A worthy course I read about at Mama Shujaa’s.

2009-05-29T11:36:00.002+03:00

Despite all the obvious dangers, infidelity is rife. There is word out there that other than being battered, many men, for ages, might be raising children that are fathered elsewhere. Likewise married men are fathering children outside of their marriage. There is a whole industry fueled by infidelity and Private investigators in Kenya are supposedly quietly making a killing.

We have watched Joey Greco on Cheaters and read with disbelief the story of one in several million Mia Washington who has twins fathered by different fathers. Closer home, Ciku Muiruri has busted cheats on radio with those - you have won a trip to Mombasa and who would you like to take with you - stories. Jimmy Gathu has warned about mpango wa kando on television albeit in a way more likely to embarrass parents and kids than drive the otherwise very solid message home.

There are recent disturbing statistics that more cases of new HIV infections worldwide are now being reported among married couples. The claims do not seem very far fetched. Marriage compromises the ability to negotiate for safe sex and rubbishes the A&C of HIV prevention. As such a person with a cheating spouse is just a sitting duck. Please note I’m not talking about every marriage. If you are, or will be happily married and fully settled, good for you. There are those characters who are still wandering around risking their wellbeing plus that of their spouses and kids. So much for telling young girls to abstain till they’re married.

From The Past: Lets Talk About Teenage Sex

From The Web: Mum’s Shock At Twins With Different Fathers.

Kenny Who?

2009-05-26T13:47:00.002+03:00

A visit to The Intelligensia took me back in the day when we literally grew up with Kenny Rogers in our living rooms. He was a household name and I doubt his songs will ever be forgotten. Thanks Intel for the good memories.

Unfortunately it seems like in matters anti-aging, the gambler rolled his dice and lost. The then hottest old guy got some botched surgery and destroyed his trademark warm looks. He was attempting to look younger. Kenny why? Whatever happened to aging gracefully? Even in his old age he was still one of the best looking men around. Apparently a young wife happened.

It’s actually sad to have dear old Kenny Rogers profiled in the same program as akina Lil Kim, Melanie Griffith and Michael Jackson for surgery gone wrong. Check them all out here.

Here's To Brotherhood In Space.

2009-05-22T09:37:00.008+03:00

Think of an Astronaut. The picture in your head is someone super-fit, super-intelligent, and super-adventurous. All true. But now there’s something that wasn’t in the original job description: on missions, astronauts now drink recycled urine. Doesn’t sound particularly appetizing, does it? But there’s that element to most jobs. Think of what a surgeon, day care assistant, a dentist or a plumber has to deal with every day. In short, there’s no job that only has a glamorous side. That’s why it’s called a job and they pay you. If it were all fun and games you’d be paying them. Anyone for a trip to the moon?

If someone can build a space ship then I’ve no doubt a super duper purifier is small change. I’d have hoped that the Astronauts have individual recycling kits but no. It’s a water recycling device that will process the crew’s urine for communal consumption. Bonds don’t get any stronger than this. And the Astronauts need that. It must be lonely out there.

Listen to one of the engineers, ‘other than a faint taste of iodine, it is just as refreshing as any other kind of water’.

Health 24 has the full story.

And in other matters Urine

consumption.

Of Horse Hair Wigged Judges And Dumb Law Suits.

2009-05-15T10:42:00.003+03:00

We’ve heard about our judiciary mostly in the light of grand corruption and botched up radical surgeries but have you ever thought of the complete and utter comedy that the courtrooms must be at times?

Everyone has a right to seek legal redress on any issue that they deem provable but I can’t for the life of me imagine how the judges resist the temptation to smack someone in the face when they bring what can only be described as dumb lawsuits to court.

I sometimes wonder how our horse hair wigged friends manage to keep a straight face when listening to, and judging cases of full grown men accused of having carnal knowledge of hapless chickens and sheep. And such other bizarre cases.

Speaking of horse hair wigs, (insignificant piece of crap if you ask Kenya’s Dopest Chick), why oh why are our judges are still wearing costumes that carry with them years of ancient British traditions, customs and laws, some of which were dictated by extreme cold winters none of which we have here? I appreciate the temptation to have some sort of distinguishing regalia for the judges but can’t we have a more relevant hallmark for the bar? Does wearing a normal business suit or our Kenyan dress hinder then from delivering good judgment?

From The Web: Judges of the world.

From The Past: Intersexual In Kamiti

God Bless Mums

2009-05-11T08:31:00.004+03:00

Maua did a deep and touching tribute to her mum, effectively reminding us all why we should treat our mums right while they're still with us. Sometimes we take these awesome women for granted but we love then all the same.

Sex Starvation For Good Governance

2009-04-30T08:37:00.001+03:00

7 Day Sex Boycott.

Kenya’s seemingly hopeless situation has finally snaked it’s way into the bedrooms. But nothing seems to move Kenyans any more. Is sex starvation the magic bullet that will get all and sundry up and fighting for reforms? If it’ll magically sort out the current impasse, then go Ida! go Ida!

Look out for cranky old men and women in the course of the week. Cranky old men and women in addition to all the other problems we’re having. Hoping they won’t be too dazed with pent up sexual energy to discuss constitutions and all.

Can’t wait to see who will crack first.

Cut Kilos And Save The Planet - The Plight Of The Polar Bear Depends On You.

2009-04-23T13:54:00.003+03:00

I’ve come back from my holiday to some partly sad, partly annoying and partly hilarious headlines on the net.

Fatties cause Global Warming. And Fat People Blamed For Global Warning. So say the scientists. Reasons given are that fat people eat more, are likely to drive rather than walk, and some other amusing balderdash about them emitting more carbon dioxide. The said scientists have done the math, claiming that each fat person is responsible for emitting a tonne more of climate warming carbon dioxide per year than a thin one.

So these scientists can afford time off studying disappearing polar bears, melting polar ice caps, drying rivers, rising sea levels and such other serious issues to shine their high end microscopes on people’s weight? Junk science if you ask me. Leaves me wondering whether the whole global warming craze is not getting a little frivolous?

We cut down too many trees, strain our rivers, burn too much fuel, use up too much electricity, use plastic bags and still find a place for fat people in the whole environment degradation craze? And what about the food we throw away on a daily basis? If there is overproduction of food is it not due to food wastage as opposed to overeating? I’d rather look at obesity as a health problem and not environmental.

And in other news, you don’t have to be fat to partake of the environmental degradation cake. Even a simple google search has a definite environmental impact, generating about 0.02g of CO2 per second. Now throw in complex web pages, animations and videos. See? You can also be charged with crimes against the planet. By the way if you live in some countries you can sue the government for global warming. And you thought trees are good for the environment? Think again.

True the planet is in peril but the world seems to be getting a little over enthusiastic about the whole green business. Me? I’ll do my best to conserve the environment and then sit back and wait for the apocalypse. I will enjoy my Galitos chicken without calculating the evil carbon foot prints it has left on its way to my plate. The earth has heated up and cooled down for millions of years. Maybe these environmental changes were meant to be after all.

It's not just Kenya

2009-04-08T10:30:00.002+03:00

Blogger Solomonsydelle of Nigerian Curiosity says in the comment area of this post:

Politicians the world over have made a mockery of their constituents, but the travesty is nowhere more glaring than on our continent.

‘The tragedy is not that the main culprits continue to sit in office in the wake of damning revelations, but that they vie again and Kenyans elect them right back in the general elections’

Being that this is a symptom endemic on the continent, do you have any ideas on how to prevent this from happening? It is the same in Nigeria and it drives any person with the time to think absolutely crazy. Great post!

Solomon thanks. I hope other bloggers will help me look at this one. In a perfect world, the idea would be to keep current untainted members and elect other clean fresh ones to replace the old corrupt guard and have one happy family. But one can only vote in one constituency and cannot control whom other constituencies are voting in. And even then you may never completely know the character of a candidate until they get the jobs and taste power and money.

In my constituency for example, folks voted in one of their brightest sons. Young, clean and untainted as far as anyone could tell. But in the very first few weeks of his tenure, he was slapped with a US Visa ban for alleged involvement in illegal gang activities. So much for fresh leadership.

There was talk about recalling non-performing members but the way things stand now, the idea is almost laughable. Do we even have a body to supervise elections yet? I forget. As much as the Kenyan electorate is capable of high level co-operation, so far we have demonstrated it in voting in candidates. I doubt the same would come to play when it comes to firing individual MPs mid-term. I don’t know. In any case we still need the members to pass a clause such as this. Solutions are there. Problem is that implementation falls on the very scoundrels that are the course of our problems.

Otherwise politics aside it’s holiday time. Holiday travel is beckoning and I’ll be gone for a few days. Lots of folks have come down to the coast for their Easter holidays. Karibuni sana. Others like me are going upcountry for some cold, clean, crisp humidity free air. Happy holidays!

Is there an auction somewhere?

2009-04-03T10:49:00.005+03:00

The Mau Complex
Embakasi Airport
Tana River Delta
Nairobi River Banks

Etc etc. And did we sell wild animals (some endangered) to the Thais at some point?

I think we can safely say Kenya is up for auction to the highest bidder from within and without. At this rate, some time to come we may not be allowed to fish in our own lakes or visit some areas, not because of tribal animosity but because we’ll be labeled trespassers in a foreign land.

The tragedy is not that the main culprits continue to sit in office in the wake of damning revelations, but that they vie again and Kenyans elect them right back in the general elections. The Mau crooks may very well use that same Mau as a campaign tool, pretending to be championing for the rights of the down trodden but in the real sense using them to protect their own. Whatever were they planning to do with Mau land, build sky scrapers? Ranches? Homes? What!!?

A Case For The Street Vendor

2009-03-26T12:15:00.002+03:00

Street Vendors. They’re viewed by many as tax evaders, a nuisance to the public, a disgrace to society and sometimes as disguised muggers. First off, the hard facts. Street vendors do hog pavements and force pedestrians onto the roads. They inconvenience tax paying shop owners. They crowd the streets and make it easier for muggers to do what they do best. They cause much littering. Some are plain annoying, like those who hound passersby and put their wares in their faces.

All these they may be but that’s because their contribution is not factored in urban policies and there are no frameworks set for them to work along. These traders are an economic necessity. They have every right to contribute to the growth of the economy and to make a living for themselves and their families. Their input is very much a part and parcel of the Economic Development Plan that is Vision 2030 and should receive attention, solid governing policies, and even incentives. They need intervention to better their trade, not oppressive regulations.

In Mombasa for example, currently the streets are clear of hawkers. A few still sell their goods amid running battles with Kanju, but majority have left the streets. They’ve been herded and allocated space in far off Buxton which is right at the beginning of Nyali Bridge. Save for Mombasa Poly students, residents of that area, and people boarding Kilifi Malindi matatus, there isn’t enough human traffic there to sustain any business. Others have been moved to Mbaraki, an awkward side of the island where people rarely visit. Yet the essence of their trade is to bring wares closer to the people.

Street vendors cannot be pushed to a far off corner and ignored. What they need is space and accommodation. There is enough land in town and local governments have enough money to build markets. If someone tried hard enough the solutions are there. So it all boils down to the question of good leadership. And the cycle begins all over again.

Happy Birthday - We're One Year Old!

2009-03-23T11:34:00.003+03:00

Wanjiku Unlimited turned one over the weekend. And what better way to celebrate than to go through the archives, reminisce, have a good laugh and wonder, did I really write some of that?

Thanks people for keeping it here and for being part of my blogging journey.

Recession Mbaya

2009-03-19T17:23:00.003+03:00

Are the Economies that bad?

Is This The End Of The Book As We Know It?

2009-03-11T11:50:00.003+03:00

There is word that by the year 2020, 90% of every thing you read will be delivered in electronic form. And it seems we’re already on our way there. The net is awash with virtual downloadable books which we can read from our computers and laptops. Readers like the Amazon Kindle, Sony Reader and Cybook among others are already making amazing sales especially in Western countries. There’s the advent of E-libraries and traditional libraries too are going online to keep in business.

Reading books is already on the decline worldwide as the current young generation shuns the age old practice for more modern gadgetry like mobile phones and computers. Like anything else advanced, E-reading comes with advantages. For one you get to contribute in saving the earth by going paperless. You can carry 100 books with no weight problems. You can alter the size of text to suit your needs and checking up words in the dictionary is instant.

But personally I’ll not be getting a reader any time soon. I’d still prefer to curl up with a traditional book on the sofa, in bed or at the beach. After staring at the computer for hours on end and then some, I don’t want to be handling another cold shiny plastic gadget. A book is like an old friend. Warm and organic with some emotional connection to boot.

So are we witnessing the demise of the book? I think not. At least not yet.

Where Did Our National Dress Go?

2009-03-09T13:19:00.004+03:00

Yesterday I was reminded of the Kenya national Dress when I watched Liz Ogumbo talk about it on TV. She asked the very question I asked myself when I first saw the dress and which I guess is safe to ask now that the dust has settled down on it. Who was going to wear it?

I’m no designer, so I cannot claim to know the aesthetics behind the whole apron and cloak design but was the idea really going to sell in cosmopolitan Kenya? Some of the women’s versions looked kind of cute but as far as I know, they were to be found in up market boutiques for a handsome price way beyond the reach of many Kenyans. And for an idea of such magnitude, even an internet search does not produce much details or pictures.

And were the guys going to wear a cloak over their shirts?

Miraa And The Church

2009-03-06T12:21:00.001+03:00

Khat is classified as a drug of abuse that can produce mild to moderate psychological dependence. It’s a controlled/illegal substance in many countries. The uses and effects read like the bad rap of any other drug. Long term use or abuse can cause insomnia, anorexia, gastric disorders, depression, liver damage and cardiac complications. Delusional and manic behavior has also been reported. As such, it would be expected of the church to discourage chewing of khat on the same token it does smoking or drinking beer.

Not so in this story from Meru. It’s difficult for anyone, not even religion to come between the Ameru and the only cash crop they’ve known for generations. In a case of tradition versus modern religion, some churches accept khat as an offering and later sell it to the faithful.

The Khat story aside, the Church has come a long way. I recall a time back in the village when Churches used to hold fund raisings but never once invited local bar owners or anyone selling things considered anti-church. Likewise, faithful who owned shops were not allowed to stock cigarettes. Not any more. In my local church there is a whole row of pews donated by the owner of a prominent night club. The money is no longer dirty.

Into The Dark World

2009-03-05T10:09:00.005+03:00

I have a curious fascination for world cultures and today I'm all Goth. I recently came across an interesting article in the Mail Online site that sent my curiosity into the dark Gothic world. I've seen Goths in movies and other programs but never really taken a keen look at their fascinating lifestyle. The mailonline article is simple. Boy loves girl and he moves around with her on a lead, like you would a pet dog. Girl is a self confessed human pet and is comfortable with the circumstances. It's the discrimination that irks them.

Goths have mostly received a bad rap. When people think Goth, they think black, evil, blood and horror. They're a stereotyped lot often perceived to be witches, devil worshipers and vampires though that's not always the case. Like in every other culture and religion, there are always rotten apples that give them a bad name.

I doubt there are any Goths in these parts of the world. Unless we count that black nail polish that was all the rave some time back. But in the unlikely even that you bump into one in the streets, know the following:

They're not to be feared. Beneath the black clothing, jet black hair, black eyeliner, black nail polish, black lipstick and whatever else they wear, they're normal people like you and me. They actually nice and intelligent people capable of happiness like everybody else. They just prefer living on the darker side of life. In any case they don't always wear black. They're not schizophrenics. They don't suck people's blood. They're not always satanists. A Goth can be from any religion. Some, like this writer are Christians.

And in unrelated, repeat unrelated stories fashion critics have bashed Michelle for wearing a sleeveless dress to a formal occasion.

Blogging Under The Influence

2009-03-03T11:17:00.002+03:00

Have you ever blogged under the influence? With lap tops and mobile internet services, intoxicated blogging is possible anywhere any time. At home, on the beach or even from the local pub. And it’s so easy. And by blogging I mean even posting comments. Actually BUI could explain a few posts I’ve read of late. And some comments I see here and in other areas …………….

Anyway, I guess there’s no sure way of knowing a drunken post. After all blogosphere is not an English exam and people are free to use whatever language they wish without having anybody to approve of it. Wrong grammar and disjointed stuff can therefore not be used as an indicator that the person is Blogging Under the Influence. Unless the article starts all nice and proper and degenerates into incoherent blabber as time goes by or your readers know you well and they can sense a sharp difference in your style. But then again you could just have decided to use a different style.

A little bird told me that while blogging under the influence, one gets funnier and typing becomes easier and faster as the drink goes by. I wouldn’t know that because already my typing is easier and faster. The same bird told me that there’s a site for drunken bloggers but being a responsible citizen I’m not about to lead my readers to drunken sites.

No I don’t blog under the influence although someone thought I was high when I did this article. But it’s just an ordinary post surely? There are some blog commandments somewhere. Maybe we should add Thou Shalt Not Blog Under the Influence? My E-friend too has been suspected of this E-crime but I doubt she’s guilty. Practicing Chinglish is guaranteed to make one sound high.

Blog on – sober or drunk. It’s not a punishable crime. If you can still organize your thoughts and ideas into a post then you’re not drunk enough. BUI will probably not do you much harm unless you go as far as posting compromising videos of yourself and Co. Other than blogging, in other aspects of E-life be careful. After all this is the internet where it’s said men are men, women are men and children are FBI agents.

Adios Pan Paper. Adios Pollution.

2009-02-26T12:23:00.002+03:00

For those who have been following the story of Pan African Paper Mills, it’s closure comes as no surprise. For a long time it has been surviving on cash injections and other known and unknown favours from Treasury.

With a workforce of more than 2,000, Pan Paper is the economic engine of Webuye town. True there are other business ventures that the residents can engage in but many face imminent collapse with the fall of the giant paper manufacturer. We may very well be witnessing the death of the otherwise once vibrant town of Webuye.

Having said that, there is also the bright side to look at. Some residents feel that the closure is good riddance due to the high levels of pollution that the factory is known for. Webuye has the infamous distinction of being one of the most polluted places on the planet. For long term residents, chest and breathing problems are rife among children and adults alike. This is directly attributable to continual inhalation of highly corrosive hydrosulphuric acid and use of contaminated water from Nzoia River which the paper miller has equally polluted.

Pan paper is one company among many that should by now have been sued and made to pay millions in compensation for poor health among residents, poor crop output, sick livestock and the sheer stench that is the hallmark of the town and it’s environs. But then again this is Kenya and they could always talk to the mighty.

Take it from someone who has been there severally, even breathing is difficult in Webuye. The stench, akin to that of rotten eggs comes in sick wave after sick wave and you are constantly aware that every breath you take is laden with chemicals. The factory itself as far as I could see was always enveloped in a sinister plume of smoke. From my web travels for this article, I’ve learnt a few things I did not even know. For example, corrugated iron sheets on roofs are corroded within months. Snowstorms of foam droplets from Pan Paper’s waste ponds cloud the sky and burn the skin.

If ever the giant paper manufacturer re-opens, the first thing they should check is the high levels of pollution. Someone should reinforce the activists and advocates who have been trying to make a case for affected residents. Webuye needs Erin Brockovich.

And that is just one factory.

The Not So Wonderful After All Super Food.

2009-02-24T13:28:00.002+03:00

Soya. Touted as a super food, there’s been such a rush to market it until nothing seems nutritionally sound without soy listed among the ingredients. Milk, baby formula, beverages, ice cream, name it. And for good reason. Soy is indeed nutritious. But there is mounting concern and in some cases evidence that Soya has some very biologically active compounds that can affect negative changes in our bodies. Considering that it’s also mostly genetically modified, we should all probably be very afraid.

According to Nation nutrition columnist Sona Parmar, In the US where a quarter of the baby formulas contain soya, there are increasing reports of young children going through early sexual development. Early puberty may not necessarily be an issue if we were talking about a 10 or even nine year old. But the children in question are actually aged between five and six years. In Australia, signs of maturation (underarm order, breast development, body hair and even menses) have been reported in children as young as two, three and four years of age. The problem generally occurs in girls who have been given soy for nine months or more.

In boys, 12 months of soy feeding can lead to problems by the age of 11 or 12. Breasts can appear and testicles may fail to develop. Nature simply did not intend for children to be fed on hormones.

Not all soy fed babies develop problems. But is it worth taking the chance? When it comes to giving it to your children, is it not better to err on the side of caution?

Here are a few links where you can weigh the pros and cons and decide for yourself whether or not to consume Soya.

One woman’s chilling Soya story.

Some Q & A on Soya.

What they didn’t tell us about Soya Based Products.

2009-02-20T14:50:00.002+03:00

She’s a record holder for the world's longest nails. She’s been growing them since 1979. She recently lost the nails in a car crash.

I’m sure over the years, the good lady has adapted to living with her self imposed predicament but I still can’t help wondering how she gets through life from the very mundane tasks like eating to the more involving ones like combing her hair without the nails tripping all over themselves. She could easily delegate cooking, laundry and other household chores but how about tasks like cleaning, dressing and grooming herself? And getting intimate? Is there such a thing as hands off intimacy?

John Githongo - Hero Or Traitor?

2009-02-18T11:55:00.001+03:00

John Githongo has finally started serializing his book on his life as an anti corruption czar in the Daily Nation.

There’s an interesting mix of comments on the Nation Media site. To sample but a few, Ngocho says: All Githongo’s releases seem aimed to prove that he is clean and others are corrupt. He seems to have forgotten that his appointment was not about him but about Kenya. In spite of holding a position of unrestricted access, he was unable to gather evidence to convict Anglo-leasing architects or stop scams in future. Give us a break John, you have failed.

Jini42 says: Kenyans are quick to criticize and judge Githongo for his actions. Regardless of his ethnic background, I think highlighting corruption is the right thing to do (even from a cowering position behind the British). Although I would like to see him come up with solutions to the problem after he finishes tell us who the culprits are.

If the total comments on the daily nation site were to be a gauge, then it seems majority of Kenyans fail to see Githongo as a hero, with some going as far as branding him a traitor. Well, he may not have anything new to say. We have a pretty good idea of the scandals and the culprits. But it will be good to have his story on the record even though the scoundrels he exposes will not be going to cool their heels in Kamiti Prison any time soon. All in all the serialization is an easy read.

It’s not fair to judge him before the whole story is out but so far he’s coming across as a person who feels he failed somewhere and therefore needs to redeem himself. However things will probably get more detailed as the plot unfolds. I’m also hoping that this time he will spill all.

It was interesting to learn that Dr. Gikonyo was sent along with Kimunya as an emissary to travel to London to see Githongo. Who sends a cardiologist on a corruption cover-up mission?

The Days Of Our Lives

2009-02-16T12:18:00.002+03:00

Mother, father and daughter picture Courtesy of People Daily Online.

It seems teenage sex is one thing that will never go away no matter how much the world tries. Many countries are grappling with this problem but Britain which has the dubious reputation of being the teenage sex capital of Europe has produced yet another shocker. Schoolboy Alfie Patten is a father at 13. That means he was just 12 when the baby was conceived.

Pictures of the young family are shocking to say the least. But in the spirit of celebrating new life, congratulations to the young couple and may they make good parents. The baby’s mother Chantelle is 15. Asked what he would do to support the child financially, Alfie asks in a small, high-pitched voice, "What's financially?"

Teenage parents aside, it’s sad that there are still so many myths and misconceptions being peddled about sex especially by uninformed kids. Sample this:

You can’t get pregnant the first time you have sex.

You can’t get pregnant if you’re standing up during sex.

If you love someone you must have sex with them otherwise it’s not love.

It’s unhealthy for a boy to get an erection and then not have sex.

You can get pregnant from oral sex.

You can tell if a person has an STI by just looking at them.

If a boy pulls out during sex you can’t get pregnant.

If you use tampons you’re no longer a virgin.

You can reuse a condom if you wash it properly

Last year we debated here about whether or not to accept teenage sex as a modern development or to retain the hard stance society has taken while kids continue to sex away. Something needs to be done. It’s time parents talked some more.

New Soft Drink Coming Soon From India

2009-02-13T10:48:00.004+03:00

Does your Pepsi lack pep? Is your Coke not the real thing? India's Hindu nationalist movement apparently has the answer: a new soft drink made from cow urine.

The bovine brew is in the final stages of development by the Cow Protection Department of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS), India's biggest and oldest Hindu nationalist group, according to the man who makes it.

Om Prakash, the head of the department, said the drink – called "gau jal", or "cow water" – in Sanskrit was undergoing laboratory tests and would be launched "very soon, maybe by the end of this year".

"Don't worry, it won't smell like urine and will be tasty too," he told The Times from his headquarters in Hardwar, one of four holy cities on the River Ganges. "Its USP will be that it's going to be very healthy. It won't be like carbonated drinks and would be devoid of any toxins."

Mr Prakash said his drink, by contrast, was made mainly of cow urine, mixed with a few medicinal and ayurvedic herbs. He said it would be "cheap", but declined to give further details about its price or ingredients until it was officially launched.

He insisted, however, that it would be able to compete with the American cola brands, even with their enormous advertising budgets. "We're going to give them good competition as our drink is good for mankind," he said. "We may also think of exporting it."

Times Online has the full story.

Valentine Be Mine.

2009-02-10T11:37:00.003+03:00

Valentine is with us again.

Despite its pagan origins, St. Valentines day has now been embraced the world over as a modern tradition. With the rush that is every day life, it’s difficult to make every single day extra special. Love and love well all year round but if February 14 makes you and your partner happy then by all means take it to celebrate and define what you have. But if you don’t already show love and appreciation to your dear one all year long, then being overly romantic on Valentine’s Day will not suddenly open doors.

Love can be red, like the intense heat of a passionate kiss.
Love can be yellow, bright and warm like the morning sun.
Love can be green, peaceful and serene I can hear your heart beats.
Love can be orange, the loudness of it can drive you up a wall.
Love can be purple, the courage we need to love bravely and unselfishly.

Valentine or no valentine, Love is delicious. It’s well worth it. Happy Lovers Day.

The Kenya We Want

2009-02-06T15:09:00.001+03:00

When I first heard of The Kenya We Want conference long before it started, I thought that was a brilliant idea. But that was because I imagined it would be a forum by the people for the people. A place where all and sundry could go and air their views and frustrations but mostly frustrations. Our views are already well known albeit ignored.

Then I realized it was staged by the same old same old from the ruling elite. I was disheartened to see the usual suspects gracing the high table and reading boring speeches. Surely, whatever new ideas do these senior citizens have for Kenya that they’ve not implemented all these years? Where did their pre-election manifestos go anyway? Wouldn’t it be wise to take a peek into those first and see how far they’re following them?

Kenyans want an end to corruption and blatant theft Mr. President. An end to hunger, poverty and impunity. They want an improved judiciary so that the real culprits can leave their mansions and go to Kamiti. Do we really need to spend so much money on conferences to get these messages across? Let me guess how this will go. Reports and PDFs will be produced and stored somewhere to gather dust. Then life shall go on. That’s as pessimistic as can be but what’s there not to be pessimistic about in present Kenya?

Kenyans are a hard working and enterprising people. Provide an enabling environment and we’re good to go. Someone said that The Kenya We Want is all summarized in the words of the National Anthem.

The Beauty/Fallacy Of Hiking In Birthday Suit.

2009-02-04T10:45:00.001+03:00

A local Swiss government plans to take action against a sudden and apparently unwelcome phenomenon – naked hikers.

I cannot for the life of me imagine why someone would hit the trails naked. Ok there’s all that talk on naturalism and all but all the same thank God for small liberties. Many naked hikers in the West get friendly reactions from the people they meet. In these parts of the world, roaming the forests in the nude would most certainly be considered madness of the worst kind.

However, naked hiking is all about fun, health and fitness like any other activity but strictly for people who can deal with the human body as it was created. Among those who practice it, it is hailed as the ultimate experience of freedom – you’re one on one with the environment. A nude hiker would want to know why there’s such debate about nudity in movement and yet the world does not seem to be equally bothered about static nudity in books, magazines, films and even some newspapers.

For those who can, good for you. You get to save on hiking gear and let all body parts grace and appreciate nature without discrimination. The web has more than enough guides for this kind of adventure.

Look Just How Much We Know!

2009-02-02T09:34:00.002+03:00

From the Standard today in regard to the Nakumat and Salgaa fires.

In most towns, oil tankers are often parked on the roadside, a danger to passersby, shoppers, and other motorists. Children are often the most exposed to danger as they play a few meters from the tankers.

In Mombasa residents have complained that most fuel tankers are packed in residential areas either for washing or siphoning of fuel.

It has become the norm for people to rush for free fuel whenever a tanker is involved in an accident, oblivious of the risks involved, says Internal Security Minister George Saitoti.

The country has no laws restricting/regulating the movement of oil tankers and trucks, transport industry players say.

In 2006, a local trailer maker introduced tankers which enhanced safety features that do not allow fuel spills in case of accidents. Called the Safety Plus, the tankers are fitted with valves underneath that snap off in case of an accident and trap the fuel inside the container.

Driver fatigue is to blame for most accidents involving trucks.

Accident disaster scenes should be cordoned off.

We should reduce the amount of Fuel transported by road.

In March, 2006, a draft proposal called ‘Fire Safety Management Policy of Kenya’ was to be discussed and adopted by the Cabinet. The document still remains a draft to date.

Most public service vehicles do not have emergency exit doors.

Kenyans are ill-prepared to deal with fire emergencies, experts say.

The Physical planning Act is stringent but building managers alter plans once they’re issued with building certificates. Years later, managers alter the buildings later to suit their businesses. In the Nakumat fire, government head of operations at the site said the supermarket’s exit doors were permanently blocked.

So we actually know all that?

Other than the fires, condolences to the family of Madaraka Karisa who lost his wife and 4 children in a road accident at Makindu on January 19^th. They were laid to rest on Saturday.

And let’s not forget the corruption scandals currently rocking the country. The perpetrators might be taking advantage to cover their tracks now that the nation’s attention is turned to the fire disasters.

Multiple Blessings

2009-01-29T10:55:00.000+03:00

When the story broke that a mum in the US had successfully given birth to Octuplets, there was a heated debate with some people terming it a blessing and others saying that more is not always better.

Those against claimed that people call it a blessing just because they’re following the rules of life which dictate that we rejoice and celebrate new life. It’s just this much more difficult to talk of new life in a negative light but the human mother is neither physically nor psychologically designed to give birth to and bring up 8 children at a go.

Extreme multiple births, which have become more common with the use of fertility drugs are often characterized by high mortality rates. Though not new, they’re still quite a phenomenon. There was a time triplets were a marvel, and still are to some extent. But more likely to make news are quadruplets, quintuplets, sextuplets, septuplets, octuplets, nonuplets, decaplets, undecaplets, duodecaplets, quindecaplets etc. Thankfully all the later are very rare.

There are many documented cases of fertility drug use resulting in multiple births. According to About.com, in 1996 a 23 year old mother had undecaplets (11). She elected to undergo selective reduction and reduce to 4. In those mundane words lies the chilling idea of authorizing the doctors to mercifully end the lives of the other 7. In 1971, in Italy, a mother had 15 fetuses removed form her womb after 4 months of pregnancy. In December, 1998, the Chukwu octuplets were born in US. They too were conceived with the use of fertility drugs. There are many more examples on that site.

The debate rages on. Is more always better?

Things To Do Before Age 50.

2009-01-27T09:21:00.002+03:00

25-50 of things to do before you hit 50. Adopted from True Love Magazine

Pick a dance and learn it reasonably well to not step on other people’s toes.

Go white water rafting.

Ride in a hot air balloon and finally understand what a bird’s eye view means.

Climb a mountain. It renders pedicures and manicures luxuries.

Be there for the next wildebeest migration and show some love for our very own wonder of the world.

Go on a cruise the next time you’re off duty. Shake up your routine.

Consolidate all your assets and count how many pennies you need to earn before you turn millionaire. Then start making phone calls to move financial mountains.

Find the love of your life. Could be a man, a baby, a car, a career or a hobby. Just make sure you love it back.

Take off to the next location where an international event you love is unfolding. A fashion week, Wimbledon, Olympics, world cup, something. Anything.

Draw your family tree. No one wants to marry their (albeit hot) cousin.

Learn the basics of car maintenance. The men in your life will be eternally grateful.

Take a self defense class.

Puncture an efficient hole in your wall with a power drill and hand up your stuff by yourself.

Forgive yourself. It may be your own fault that you attracted all those deadbeats, but self flogging only makes you miserable for the rest of your love life.

Forgive them. It works both ways.

A woman needs a place where she can recover her sanity. Find one and let the healing begin.

Make a list of books to read, places to travel to, movies to watch and people to meet and then get cracking.

Be a radio presenter for 15 minutes. There’s so much to say in so little time.

Have your portrait done. Hire the best photographer or artist you can think of. Take a look at yourself through another person’s eyes.

Stroke a kitten and hear it purr.

There is a sexual adventure playing in your mind. Explore it. Safely.

Trust your intuition. If she says don’t, then don’t.

Find God. And keep him.

Compile your own list like. Leave nothing in your imagination unrecorded. Someone has already done that.

50 Things To Do Before You Turn 50

2009-01-23T09:14:00.003+03:00

Forget new year resolutions. Grab life with both hands and start working on a life long list now.

Article adopted from True Love Magazine – December 2008 Edition.

Chop off all your hair at least once in your life. Women have a morbid fear of hair loss. Once you face it, it stops haunting you.

Fly a kite. Your full grown self meets the 5 year old who lurks within.

Take up a 3 day water fast. Guaranteed to sort out your bloated tummy and will work wonders for your skin.

Drive yourself to the coast, book a hotel and relax. Alternatively plan a pilgrimage.

Write yourself a letter to be opened 10 years from now. Attach a picture. Include a joke you think is funny, how much you weigh and what your hair looks like.

Go scuba diving, be it in the Indian Ocean with the lovely fish or a swimming pool. It offers an entirely new, cooler perspective on creation and the price air.

Go skinny dipping. Your body is meant to be enjoyed.

Drink an entire bottle of wine and purge it out of your system. You know you’ve always wanted to.

Get an inside out, no holds barred physical exam and acquire a taste for second opinions.

Book yourself into a spa for a weekend, switch off your phone and tell only one person where you went.

Milk a goat or cow you urbanite.

Slaughter, cook and feast on a bird without help.

Use your passport regularly.

That one thing that has always terrified you, do it.

Find a signature style that is so you that the moment you walk into a clothing shop the attendants jump to bring you exactly what they think you want.

Every woman must have a specialty dish she can rustle up for guests at a moments notice. Find yours and perfect it.

Are you single and childless? Borrow a 3 year old for a day.

Get up on that Karaoke and sing.

Go bungee jumping.

Go to a local football match at the stadium.

Run at least one Stanchart marathon or take part in the Freedom from Hunger walk.

Watch the sunset somewhere hundreds of miles away from home, preferably over the pyramids.

Watch your single most hated sport from start to finish.

Learn Chinese. Over a billion people speak it and they’re bound to be the next super power anyway.

Learn to play an instrument that appeals to you. If anything, it reactivates degenerative brain cells.

To be continued ….....…..

They Done It!

2009-01-21T12:07:00.007+03:00

My fellow bloggers have said it all.

Maisha Africa – Mr. President!

Rafiki Kenya – Malia Capturing History

Siku Moja – Obama’s Speech Transcript

Robbing The Dying

2009-01-19T09:24:00.001+03:00

The phrase ‘robbing the dying’ will most likely remind Kenyans of one Margaret Gachara of the NACC corruption fame. It seemed to fit her perfectly as she allegedly swindled money from National Aids Control Council. Money that was meant to go a step in managing the HIV crisis in the country. Part of her reasons for seeking bail was that she was mentally stressed. She had two top notch psychiatrists compile reports to prove that she was indeed stressed and suffering from fear due to negative media reports following her sacking. Stressed? Stressed my foot! Try being HIV positive and not being able to access ARVs because someone stole the money. Then we can talk about stress.

But this is not about Margaret Gachara. In any case her amounts were not that staggering in the face of the recent mega scandals. This is about a bunch of equally sick minds that need psychiatric evaluation, not to establish their stress levels but whether they’re mentally stable at all. These are people who are redefining and embodying the ‘robbing the dying’ phrase a lot more accurately. Corruption at any level is wrong, be it in petroleum or tourism. But the maize saga is particularly disturbing. Someone lining their pockets as Kenyans go hungry is truly sick. Do they watch the news and see Kenyans eating wild roots for lack of basic food?

Worse still is the fact that the real culprits know that nothing will be done to them. With the current mounting pressure, there might be small fish caught here and there but the big ones will be left free to roam the land and organize more scandals. The smaller fish that will be caught will be come up with all sorts of diseases and spend their jail terms in hospital private wards. Then they’ll be given the option to return the cash and walk away.

Back To Blogs

2009-01-13T12:28:00.001+03:00

Happy New Year people. Ok the year is a little bit old but good wishes all the same.

I’ve finally managed to bounce back into blogosphere after being off for close to a month. I missed the place but the break was well worth it.

It’s New Year and resolutions abound. Personally I have only two resolutions. Whatever I do, think outside the box and put some extra effort. That should cover all others that I’ve been making and breaking over the years. Health, fitness, self development etc etc should all fit in there. After all they’re not supposed to be New Year resolutions but a way of life.

So for me this is the year of going the extra mile. Let’s roll.

Hiatus - Happy Holidays People!

2008-12-11T08:46:00.003+03:00

It’s time to take a break people. I’m off to re-discover my natural and E-free life, to travel around and appreciate Kenya, to touch base with real life smileys and emoticons, and last and most important to be with family.

Till then, Happy holidays friends. Merry Christmas and happy New Year.

HIV/AIDS - Taking The Battle Too Far?

2008-12-01T08:39:00.000+03:00

It’s world AIDS day and I’d like to take this opportunity to commend all those who have in one way or another done their bit to crush this monster. I wish comfort to all those infected and affected.

While I have no objection to the fight against HIV/AIDS, and I don’t condone people infecting others deliberately, it seems some countries are taking the battle a little too far. I don’t know what to make of a radical proposal in Indonesia to insert microchips in Sexually Aggressive HIV positive people. As the lawmakers behind the idea put it, ‘it’s a simple technology. A signal from the Microchip will track the movements and this will be received by monitoring authorities. If a patient with HIV/AIDS is found to have infected a healthy person, there will be a penalty’.

I’m sure the law makers have done their feasibility study and know best the workability of such a proposal but in my opinion is raises more questions than answers. First other than being a very scary idea it could amount to gross human rights abuse. Nobody wants to be tagged and monitored by some government official going about their business let alone their sex business.

Second will it be able to determine that a wearer actually had unsafe sex or if they had sex at all if they went visiting a girl/boyfriend? At what level does one get sexually aggressive enough to be deserving of this tag? What becomes of those who are not necessarily branded sexually aggressive but can still infect others? The people of Papua better just do the ABCs I think. Abstain, Be faithful, Condoms.

On a different note there’re some reports in the dailies of late that even marriage is not a safe haven for the uninfected. HIV infection rates among married have risen to an all time high. Is it so or is it that they have not been targeted for research until now?

Is Coca Cola That Lethal?

2008-11-25T10:07:00.003+03:00

There’s enough bad press out there about products we use every day but for now I want to look at Coca Cola. For some time I’ve received several E-mails detailing the lethality of my favorite soda with allegations such as these to mention a few:-

It can dissolve a T-bone steak in 2 days

It can be used to remove stains from toilets

Phosphoric Acid in Coke leaches calcium from the bones

It can be used to remove grease from clothes

It can melt a tooth or a bone if left for some hours

And probably the most outrageous of them all – the distributors of coke use it to clean the engines of their trucks!

This leaves me wondering whether we’re downing something so lethal on a regular basis or is this just a smear campaign in retaliation to the many marketing sins that Coke is accused of? I’ve never done any of the experiments partly because I really don’t want to clean a toilet with soda and partly because I love me a coke and don’t want to confirm that any of the allegations are true.

I’m not on an advertising mission but I’ll put in a few good words for the soft drink giant. One there comes a time especially after walking around on a hot day that only a chilled coke will do. At least for me. Not water not Alvaro but Coke. Two there are certain forbidden foods (read Junk – why is junk so tasty?) that only go down well with a chilled Coke. Three judging by the popularity of the drink, more people would have sued the manufactures for reduced bone density or some other ills. True there are several law suits out there but considering how much coke is consumed, there could be more from the people suing cigarette manufacturers for damaged lungs and fast food restaurants for obesity. Me thinks Coke is harmless after all. At least as harmless as all the other chemicals we consume on a regular basis be it through yummy steroid fattened chicken or pesticide laden fruits and vegetables.

None of my scare mongers have said how much coke one has to take to get these horrid effects in the body. But all the same too much of anything can be harmful. Even the oxygen that keeps us alive can be harmful in large quantities.

Whatever Are Prison Warders Smoking?

2008-11-20T09:23:00.000+03:00

The horrendous conditions in our prisons are no secret. Just google Kenyan Prisons and you’ll get the picture. I’m not expecting anything 5-star to be reported about them, they’re prisons after all, but still I’d expect them to be more like correctional facilities and not a factory for broken men. The recently aired beating of prisoners at Kamiti Prison are a shock to anyone who gets to view the clip. The Prisons Department Spokesman says that prison officials are allowed to use force in some instances but there is still such a thing as basic human rights.

As usual we hear the now almost offending phrase ‘the police are going to investigate’. ‘The matter is going to be probed’. But in Kenya these probes are known to be the end of the case. Other than appoint a new Commissioner of Prisons, what else has been done or is being done about the Marsden Madoka report? Trust me when they ‘probe’ this current matter, it’s going to be probed as a stand alone and yet it’s obviously a culmination of years of rot in the prisons department. We all know about the continued frustration of the prison officers but that does not absolve them from the chillingly animalish brutality they displayed herding together stack naked full grown men and thrashing them.

I’ve received enough of those annoying SMSs that are said to come from prisons but this time I commend the one prisoner who captured the incident – never mind he was not supposed to have a phone in there in the first place.

There is also word that the taping was done by a concerned warder and not a prisoner after all. True it’s wrong to have contraband, weapons, cigarettes and mobile phones in prison but how do they get there if not with the co-operation of the very warders who meted the beating?

Were the warders operating on a sober mind? Is the human being wired like that? I wonder where our friend was during the incident?

When Serena Came Calling

2008-11-17T09:32:00.003+03:00

Thomas Beatie Pregnant Again

2008-11-14T10:37:00.002+03:00

After giving birth to this beautiful baby girl earlier in the year, Thomas Beatie the transgender who made headlines for being the first 'man' to fall pregnant is at it again. He’s expecting his second baby in June next year.

Their unique case is also a business opportunity of sorts. Having sold pictures of the baby for an estimated $300,000/-, I wonder how much money the couple will make when their second baby arrives.

2008-11-12T10:18:00.003+03:00

Coca Cola is venturing into the iced tea and coffee market. Trust big brother to come and beat young Ketepa Iced Tea. Anything new in the market is most welcome but first they have to demystify the whole concept of iced tea which at the moment is still considered elitist. Ketepa did not make this notion any better by pricing their iced tea way above the average soft drink. Coca Cola is not easy competition. The drink is not yet available locally and I hope Ketepa can withstand the tide when it finally comes.

Dare I say they can forget selling these beverages in rural areas? For a lot of people there and indeed many more in urban centers, tea and coffee comes in a steaming mug, not in a can or soda bottle. Will they convince people to pay more for tea or coffee just because it’s cold and has no milk? For some that is what it is – black tea. They’d rather pay less cash for a steaming mug ama?

My Cyber Travels

2008-11-10T12:11:00.004+03:00

I’ve come across many weird stories in my travels around cyber space. The world never seems to run out of ideas to grab our interest. Some bizarre restaurants I’ve read about:

Cannibalistic Restaurant in Japan

Modern Toilet Restaurant in Taiwan

Pitch Dark Restaurant In China

Medical Restaurant in Taipei

Man Of The Moment

2008-11-05T11:13:00.004+03:00

"Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek." ~ Barack Obama – President Elect USA

Beauty To The Dogs

2008-11-03T12:16:00.002+03:00

Is Simba looking a little bit old of late? Are his ears either too droopy or protruding a tad bit more than you’d prefer? Would you like to refine his eyebrow shape with a bit of Botox?

Pet Cosmetic Surgery is happening and it’s happening big. I don’t know about locally but out there pet owners can now change physical attributes that they don’t like in their pets. And doesn’t anything Western eventually trickle down to these parts with time? You could soon tighten Chelsea’s mammaries in a veterinary clinic near you. The menu sounds pretty much like that of a human cosmetic surgery clinic. Liposuction, facelifts, Botox Injections, Porcelain veneers, Nose Job etc. If Simba barks too much and keeps the neighbors awake, the vet can devocalize him by surgically altering his larynx to muffle the bark. I hope we have that one here soon if we don’t already. I know a few candidates.

Dogs also get this procedure that is not so common in humans – Cosmetic Testicular Implants. Yeah - you can pick between petite, small, medium, large, whatever size tickle your fancy. Unlike some procedures that are done for practical reasons, these implants are mostly fixed for appearance purposes. At least in dogs. Speaking of practical reasons, there are dogs with so much skin in the face that they have trouble seeing or even breathing and surgery is the only way out. Others are so overweight that they risk developing Arthritis due to the excess weight on their joints. Never mind the reasons why they’re overweight in the first place.

As expected there are protests by animal rights activists, dog breeders and some veterinary professionals to some procedures but sometimes the line between medically justified and cosmetic surgery is thin. Dogs that go under the knife for medical reasons often have the pleasant side effect of looking better. As such it’s sometimes difficult to define and prohibit some procedures.

There is the thorny issue of ethics considering that like any other surgical procedures, these operations come with associated risks, possible infections, painful post surgery healing, and distress to the pet. Do dogs really care about sagging body parts? Do they stand in front of the mirror and fret about their disappearing good looks? Do they care for that toothpaste advert smile?

Bottom line, as long as there are surgeons willing to do the procedures and clients willing to pay for it, pets will continue to undergo cosmetic surgery and the owners will get bolder and weirder in their requests.

Wedding Oddities

2008-10-31T08:50:00.002+03:00

Guest Post By Mcheku who is just back to blogosphere after a looooong hiatus. Welcome back Mcheku.

Weddings are known to be grand, classy, glamorous, sophisticated affairs, where everyone is on their best behaviour. I am sure like me you have attended a countless number of weddings. I am also sure that there are some that stand out in your mind for all kinds of reasons. Today I want to talk about the other the side of weddings. The bride is expected to behave in a certain way and some things are just common sense. For example it will be highly frowned upon if the bride or groom gets excessively drunk during the reception. For heaven’s sake! It is only a one day affair and surely you can keep yourself from indulging in some of these things.

A few months ago, I attended a wedding where my cousin was getting hitched to a man from a totally different culture from ours. In my culture when a bride is entering the precincts of the wedding ceremony, women start singing in praise of the bride and at the same time mock the groom’s family. This singing goes on till the bride reaches the church just before she starts marching to the bridal song. Well the women singers got carried a bit with all their singing and dancing and when the bride reached the aisle she just shouted at the top of her voice, gestures included ‘Nyamazeni, nyamazeni’. What a way to start a wedding!!

Speaking as someone from a culture that requires brides to be cool, calm and collected on that day. All smiley and holding hands, sticking to the groom like glue. I am always taken aback when I attend weddings where brides are a bit jumpy and all over the place talking loudly and high fiving, no holding hands and leaving the groom to walk around on their own the whole day!! My friend got married the other day and to say the least I haven’t yet seen such behaviour in a bride. Well as she was marching into the church in her veil held by her mum and dad on either side, she extricated her hand from her mums elbow and started waving at the people she knew who had come for the wedding. Can you imagine a bride walking down the aisle to the organ tunes of ‘Here comes the bride’ and she is all up waving at people and saying ‘Sasa?’ ‘Kumbe ulicome?’ ‘Enjoy yourself’!! Then during the reception she came to sit with us for most of the time and left the groom at the high table. I know people have different cultures but that was just a bit too much if you ask me.

A bride’s attire is a focal point in the wedding. Beautiful as it is, when it is complicated and restricts the brides movement it can be a quite cumbersome to lag around an entire day. A close relative of mine was getting married deep in the rural areas. Her dress was made in such a way that she could not visit the washroom without external help. Those who have had the opportunity to get entangled in a bride's net and all will know exactly what I am talking about. As her brides maids we were enlisted as her close aides for that special day. In the middle of the ceremony she announced her intention to go. The washrooms were so far away from the house it was not plausible for the bride to walk all the way there and back and we were forced to improvise. So we found a tin somewhere and a private secluded place (very difficult at a crowded wedding!) and we surrounded her as she relieved herself. You could see the relief on her face and in her smile as she returned to take her place in the proceedings.

However, that incident was nothing compared to this wedding I attended in a neighbouring country. The wedding ceremony and reception all went well but it seems that the excitement of the day was all too much for her because during the evening reception she just suddenly collapsed and passed out. There was a big gasp of shock across the room and when we got to her we realized that she had peed on herself on that beautiful evening gown that had cost a fortune! With the help of a nurse who was in attendance we managed to revive her somewhat and we helped her clean up as best as she could and she returned to reassure the anxious guests.

Grooms are not to be left out either. I attended this wedding where the parents of the boy were elders in a church and did not want their son to go into a come-we-stay affair like he wanted to. Since they were a little moneyed they organised the whole affair for him to save face in the church. Now this son of theirs was a well known pot smoker and in the middle of the reception, he pretended he was going to use the facilities and we could not trace him for a long while. People started whispering about his long disappearance and surprise! surprise! He was brought back to the high table all high and happy, about two hours later!! much to the embarrassment of the bride, his parents and the family at large.

Some of the strange happenings cannot be controlled or avoided; I mean those involving bodily functions. But someone should honestly come up with a manual of how brides and grooms are expected to behave on that day to keep guests from witnessing the embarrassments that cannot be avoided.

Here Comes The Groom.

2008-10-29T15:01:00.007+03:00

Manuel Uribe is proof that you can find love under any circumstances. Having entered the Guinness Book Of World Records in 2007 as the world’s fattest man, he has since dropped a whopping 230 Kgs and intends to keep dropping the weight until he gets to 120 Kgs. Earlier this week he wed his long time girlfriend, 38 year old Claudia Solis.

And here comes the bride.

The Unusual Kenyan Hero

2008-10-27T13:17:00.002+03:00

Armed forces are generally a dreaded lot. More so the GSU. But one Joseph Musyoka Nthenge stands out for giving the forces a less brutal face at a time when they seemed to be shooting at anything that moved while some Rambo characters were caught on tape kicking a dying man in the ribs. The UN has recognized him with a ‘United Nations Kenya Person of the Year Award’, a prestigious award that has previously gone to the likes of Abbas Gullet for his good leadership at Kenya Red Cross Society, Njoki Ndung’u for her contribution in the fight for Girl’s and Women’s rights and Agnes Pareiyo for her tireless efforts to rescue girls from Under age marriage and Female Genital Mutilation in her community.

Joseph stands out for the peaceful manner in which he dispersed a crowd of rowdy youth who were headed for the city center to protest the delayed presidential results during last year’s General Elections. The youth had already left a trail of destruction in their path. There is no telling how much more blood shed we’d have witnessed or how many more lives would have lost if that group got their way on that day. So it’s Hats off for Joseph Nthenge. My little doctorate goes to him.

Having said that, a lot of other Kenyans did their bit to peacefully restore calm during our darkest days. Hats off to them too. Every one of them.

Should We Trust Our Doctors?

2008-10-23T10:48:00.004+03:00

The frequency with which medical professionals are bungling of late is worrying. Just a few months ago the case of little Rose Mwaka was brought into the limelight after an unsupervised intern at the Coast General Hospital pierced the little girl’s artery instead of a vein. Owing to that error, she developed gangrene and later had her foot amputated at Kijabe Mission Hospital. Three doctors, a nurse and intern at Coast General Hospital were put under investigation.

Currently, yet another mum, Susan Wanjiru is dealing with amputation of her little girl Lesley’s right arm in seemingly similar circumstances but this time at Kenyatta National Hospital. Last year, a teenage boy suffered permanent brain damage after an overdose of anesthesia was administered during an operation. And we cannot forget the case of Brian Kimutai who went into a coma after being injected with a wrong combination of vaccines.

Chances are these cases are just a tip of the iceberg as far as medical blundering is concerned. Many others either go unreported or patients die as a direct result of treatment. Parents without medical knowhow are made to believe that it was the illness and not the treatment that killed or maimed their loved ones. Medical misconduct can be hidden in files of medical jargon which the layman cannot understand.

Blundering doctors if confirmed guilty can be deregistered from the practice but how easy is it to nail a doctor when the board charged with investigating malpractice itself consists of fellow doctors? How easy is it for them to testify against one of their own? It’s like asking the police to investigate fellow police officers.

Justice is not free and neither is it cheap. Paying the hospital bill already is an uphill task and to then expect affected persons to raise more funds to seek legal redress is next to impossible for many. Some just let it pass because it’s too much hustle and no amount of settlement cash can bring back a loved one’s amputated arm or leg or life.

Granted, medical is not the only profession in which cases of gross misconduct we witness. Cases in this field stand out because we trust doctors with our health and lives. Their errors could mean the death or incapacitation of a human being. Ok so could those of the police but that’s an article for another day.

Of course we would all prefer not to fall ill in the first place but just in case you do and find yourself in the care of a doctor, remember that the days when doctors’ words were law are long gone.

Learn the basics about tests and surgical procedures.

Get a second opinion if in doubt.

In case of surgery, ask what the risks are and whether there are any options.

Ask about every drug and know about it before using it. You have a right to this.

Be observant and ask questions. Do not agree to procedures until they make sense to you.

Otherwise, take care of yourself and do your bit to stay healthy.

Which Doctors for Peace?

2008-10-21T15:11:00.003+03:00

Our local media is either ignorant or pretends not be aware of the practice by members of the Peace Research Institute in Oslo to speculate on the possible nominees for the Nobel Peace Prize. Either way, it seems to serve them well to stir-fry the guesswork with such hype as;

“The World to Fete the Big Three”

And

“… President Kibaki and the PM were believed to be frontrunners for the Nobel Peace Prize”.

Then after the winner had been announced, they wept;

"President Kibaki and Prime Minister Raila Odinga have missed out on the most prestigious peace award that some western media-houses had bet they would win".

The news lines are obviously mere pandering for which politicians are known to pay for, sometimes quite cheaply. It is only after fifty years that we can confirm whether the two found their way to the list and by what route. Personally, I’d love to celebrate that the two never even made it to the list before wondering who in their right frame of mind would think of suggesting their names.

But we not need to wait that long. First, because I think that in half that time the two will have been buried in the rubbish bin of history and therefore seeking out such details then will not be even remotely stimulating. Secondly, judging from the feigned enthusiasm of the University of Nairobi to confer honorary doctorate degrees upon the two and the accompanying feeble citations that echo the recent media hoopla, the dons at the UoN easily give themselves away. Presumably the doctorates will compensate their favorite sons for losing out on the Nobel Prize.

Of course the university has a right to decorate whomsoever they wish with whatever degree they can create. Inherent in that right also, is the freedom to massage the ego of whichever potentate that directs the flow of money. What they cannot do is fool the citizenry that Kibaki and Raila deserve any award for engendering, restoring, preserving or fostering peace. It is akin to applying lipstick to a pig in recognition for its lifetime achievements in cleanliness.

Kibaki and Raila are culpable for all that went wrong during the post-election violence as the just released Inquiry report suggests. Their names are very likely to feature at the International Criminal Court in uncomplimentary light that makes them totally undeserving of the Nobel Prize for Peace. The UoN cannot pretend not have been aware of the reservations regarding the role played by the two in the mayhem. It is therefore intellectual dishonesty to rush into conferring degrees upon them amidst such damning allegations. They cannot pretend not to have read that some plotters of the mayhem even held their meetings at the President’s official residence. And the PM is on record for repeatedly calling for the release of suspected arsonists, murderers and rapists in police custody because “they were fighting for democracy”.

For sure, we have a goodly number of disingenuous copy typists masquerading as news editors who regularly sell headlines about Raila coughing or Kibaki’s midnight row with the First Lady. But while the regular servings of empty-headed politicking and rumor peddling have thus far kept them in profitable business, this venerating of villains is particularly offensive. Not only are they both culpable for plunging the country into the said inferno, they are yet to employ the power that they share to sort out the after effects. Photo sessions with plaster grins and awards every other week are an insult to the hundreds of thousands who are still to this day suffering the consequences of the violence.

During the award ceremony, the vice-chancellor remarked that he was pleased Kibaki and Raila are being seen to be getting along well and therefore dismissed their surrogates to “continue bickering if they wish”. By extension, for as long as the two are smiling at the cameras together, their supporters can continue hammering each other if they so wish.

A man cannot set his house ablaze, watch from the fence as his neighbors put out the flames then later adorn robes to claim an award for having let in the firefighters.

What a doctoral way of achieving peace… or a peaceful (piss-full) way to achieve a doctorate.

Posted By HLumiti

Safaricom Strikes Back

2008-10-16T12:20:00.002+03:00

Safaricom had to strike back in the wake of cheap tariffs from Vuka and Orange. And it did strike back with a tariff arrangement that will make some of it’s subscribers jump for joy and other curse. In the jibambie arrangement, the higher you go the cooler it becomes. Top up with bigger money and you call at cheaper rates.

Bottom line they’re rewarding their high denomination card buyers but what are they at the same time telling the lower card users? Michael Joseph will be at pains to explain that they’re not trying to shun them but in the end that is just the way it looks.

Just when you thought lowering tariffs at ungodly hours was not a good idea…..

Dress Properly - You're In Church

2008-10-13T12:25:00.002+03:00

It is not only the women of Naivasha who are under siege for dressing in long trousers. Trouser wearing worshipers of Neno Evangelistic Church in Nairobi got a rude shock when they were turned away by ushers at the church gate yesterday.

That particular church aside, let’s look at the church dress code in general. It’s commonly expected that ladies be decently dressed not just in places of worship but everywhere. But what is decency? What parameters are we working by? Is anyone fit and qualified to judge the next person on account of dressing? Does anyone have the right to assume that you are right or wrong because of what they’re wearing? Where to draw the line? Some may argue that those wearing tight trousers and short skirts are a temptation to the brothers in church. But others may counter that and say that brothers should be strong enough in their faith to brush aside such temptations.

This is a touchy subject that has been discussed countless times in different platforms. I got lots of varied opinions on the net about it, some very strong. I only picked 4 different opinions and I quote:

Would you rather be in a congregation with decently dressed hypocrites?

God should be respected especially when you are in his house. Dress modestly in church. Go half naked outside, it’s your choice.

All this staring at other people and judgment is making me want to throw up. Go to church if you must but constant criticism of personal styles of other people who are really none of your business is really annoying. Who the hell are you to dictate what decency is?

It is not proper for a lady to dress indecently to church. It is also true that God looks at the heart, but we should not forget that our character, our looks and our words most times are a reflection of what is in our hearts because the bible says that out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh.

The church aside, the issue of whether women should wear what they want when they want is and has been a thorny one since time immemorial. In some cases, it is not even the church that is attempting to dictate dress code but the state. But should states ban certain clothing or should they cultivate in their male population a respect for women and the law? Can rape and other sexual crimes be wiped out by enforcing a certain dress code among women?

From the web: Miniskirts are here to stay. Get used to them.

From the past: Misbehaving Dads

Doomsday Guesswork

2008-10-09T09:43:00.002+03:00

We hear doomsday warnings and predictions every once in a while. According to one Mr. Charles Mwangi Gichichio, a Kenyan lawyer-cum-prophet, the world as we know it will end on July, 18^th 2010. This message was communicated to him by God on 9^th December 2006. He has since embarked on a mission to spread the doomsday warning using different methods, the most noticeable being wearing a sack cloth with the message ‘Jesus is coming back on July 18^th 2010’ printed boldly at the front.

Gichichio’s prophesy however does not seem to generate as much interest as was generated by the House of Yahwe group whose world was supposed to end in a hail of nuclear warfare on September, 12^th 2006. There are many other predictions by murderous doomsday cults, some of which have ended with massive loss of lives. Few people can forget the mass suicide in Uganda of over 200 members of The Movement Of The Restoration Of The Ten Commandments who set themselves on fire after hours of singing and chanting. Also with the vast possibilities that the Internet brings along, now there are sites teaching distressed kids how to commit suicide.

Times Online has a chronology of Armageddon predictions dating as far back as 1^st Century AD to as recently as this year. Despite their varied beliefs, the common thread running through them all is that they never quite come true. The world is still around. Nobody knows for sure but chances are July 18 the world will wake up and go about their businesses as usual – including Charles Mwangi Gichichio. He’ll probably give a few excuses and a new end of the world date before moving on with life. In the end it all seems like a guessing game.

From The Past: Of Holy Noise And Kenyan Churches

10 Blog Commandments

2008-10-07T08:45:00.006+03:00

Republished with the kind permission of The Faust Chronicle

You shall not put your blog before your integrity

You shall not make an idol of your blog

You shall not misuse your screen name by using your anonymity to sin

Remember the Sabbath day by taking one day off a week from your blog

Honour your fellow-bloggers above yourselves and do not give undue significance to their mistakes

You shall not murder someone else’s honour, reputation or feelings

You shall not use the web to commit or permit adultery in your mind

You shall not steal another person’s content

You shall not give false testimony against your fellow-blogger

You shall not covet your neighbor blog ranking. Be content with your own content

The commandments were originally 10 but some bloggers had a few more to add in the comment area:

PinkM: Thou shall not forget your fellow bloggers when your life gets too busy.

3N: Thou shall not judge bloggers by the characters of their blogs.

Savvy: Whatever is said on the blogs shall not be taken as gospel truth....

Breast Cancer - Know The Risk Factors

2008-10-03T10:31:00.003+03:00

Breast Cancer cases are on the rise worldwide. We should be wary of the disease at all times but October is the month dedicated to Breast Cancer awareness. Two years back I lost a workmate to Breast Cancer and I got to see first hand the ravaging effects of the disease. This article is part to do my bit in raising awareness and part in her memory.

For breast cancer, early detection is key. 97% of women diagnosed with stage 1 breast cancer have a chance of being cured. So ladies do the monthly breast examinations without fail. Take the girls for a thorough check up preferably every year. You never know when it could save your life. Men are not absolutely immune from Breast Cancer either although they’re much less likely to get it. For every 100 cases of breast cancer, less than one is in men.

There are things you can do to protect your self from Breast and indeed other cancers and diseases. But in some cases there’s just nothing much you can do. Know the risk factors and do your best. And some of the risk factors are:-

Having breasts

A sedentary lifestyle

High alcohol consumption

Being obese

High dietary fat intake

Smoking

Having your first pregnancy after age 30

Aging – Risk increases with age.

Having had breast cancer before

Having your first period before the age of 12

Not having children

Having the Breast Cancer gene in the family

Chemicals in the environment

Previous chest radiation

Antiperspirant use – it has often been claimed that chemicals found in antiperspirants interfere with the lymphatic system, resulting in build up of toxins in the breast. However there little laboratory evidence to support this claim.

All the best ladies and gentlemen.

Eid Mubarak!

2008-10-01T09:51:00.002+03:00

Made In China

2008-09-29T10:27:00.006+03:00

This is one sign that parents do not want to see at this time following the deaths of four babies and hospitalization of thousands more with kidney complications after consuming contaminated formula milk from China. Following the reports, The Kenyan government, and indeed many governments around the world swung into action and immediately banned milk imports from China. A leading food company in Japan even recalled buns on suspicion that they had been made with contaminated milk imported from China. The culprit has since been found to be Melamine.

But what on earth was Melamine doing in baby formula? According to WiseGeek, ‘Melamine is an organic compound that is often combined with formaldehyde to produce melamine resin, a synthetic polymer which is fire resistant and heat tolerant. Melamine resin is a very versatile material with a highly stable structure. Uses for melamine include whiteboards, floor tiles, kitchenware, fire retardant fabrics, and commercial filters. Melamine can be easily molded while warm, but will set into a fixed form. This property makes it ideally suited to certain industrial applications’.

Melamine is therefore the last thing you’d expect to find in baby formula really. But unethical manufacturers apparently add it to milk to boost protein content. Or rather to cheat the testing systems into getting a higher protein reading in the tests. Last year there was a similar scandal after pet food made in China killed and sickened thousands of pets in the U.S. That too contained melamine. So in the end it’s all about business and money. Profits before health.

Still last year, U.S safety officials recalled 4.2 million Chinese-made Aqua Dots bead toys that contain a chemical that caused some children to vomit and become comatose after swallowing them. (CNN). Scientists found that the beads contained a chemical that turned into the ‘date rape’ drug upon metabolism in the body.

Not too long ago China was in the news again after Slim 10 slimming pills caused liver complications and even death. That was back in 2002. What next? What other dangerous stuff might we be unknowingly consuming?

Dagoretti Houses Of Filth

Power Bills Up Again!!

2008-09-25T10:11:00.005+03:00

Like most other Kenyans, I was shocked by last month’s power bill. It was Kshs.3,400/- up from 1,920/- the previous month. I did not imagine things would get any worse but this month I got another shocker bill of Kshs.4,200/- By some bad coincidence, at around the time I got my bill, we had blackouts for two days in a row. I was beginning to think the bad old days of Power Rationing are back but thankfully things are now back to normal.

Earlier on, Rafiki Kenya and Bankelele did articles on the spiraling bills, with Rafiki giving tips on how we can cut them by half. Check them out and see if you can find some helpful ones. I was thinking we pack up our bags and go back to the village but he reminded me that that would mean using firewood and charcoal for cooking – a sure way to finishing off our already disappearing forests.

There is word that these charges will come down although I don’t see that happening. At least not down to the amounts we once knew. But if Kenya Power insists on charging such figures, then at least let them perfect their services so consumers don’t feel like they’re being short changed.

Wacky Business Names

2008-09-22T11:04:00.007+03:00

Want to start a business? Have you picked a name yet? It is said that the name you choose for your business has a lot to do with it’s success or failure. As such there are lessons out there – long complicated notes and near scientific formulas on how to come up with a business name that will ensure success.

But for some it’s as easy as one, two three. A common criteria for choosing business names this part of the world is to pick and combine the first few letters of your name and that of your spouse, your children, your cat, your canine friend……. the choices are limitless.

But despite the fact that this way we shall never run out of unique names, it’s not always a safe route because it can produce some really wacky names for your business. Clients may avoid doing business with you just so they don’t have to sweat it out writing your name on a cheque. They may avoid calling you so they don’t keep pronouncing it when they book calls to you. If it’s a kindergarten, don’t come up with a mouthful of a name that your little clients cannot pronounce.

You’ll always know businesses that pick their names like that.

Domungwa Enterprises and General Merchant
Stekaka Kindergarten
Juwangi General Merchants
Sajomku Distributors
Nawalu Cleaning services

Ok, these businesses do not actually exist. They’re just examples of name concoctions and have no relation to any businesses that may go by similar names.

You may want to save yourself the trouble and just use your name. In which case if your name is Boring then your business becomes Boring Business Systems . Simple. Boring Business Systems, boring name notwithstanding, has been in operation in Florida US since 1924. That’s 80 years of operation – a huge success if you ask me. So maybe business names don’t matter after all.

Picture Courtesy of:Dailyhaha.com

Now now now, Stiff Nipples Air Conditioning Service. I could not ascertain whether this business actually exists or whether this was an internet prank. But just supposing it exists? Whatever does the telephone operator say when she picks incoming calls? How do clients write the cheques to them when they purchase stuff from their shop?

From The Past: May I Take Your Order?

How To Be A Complete Piss-Off In The Office

2008-09-19T09:11:00.002+03:00

Go to work during odd hours when nobody else is there and snoop through your workmates’ computer files.

Engage the phone for hours on end.

Talk really loudly all the time.

Hide the office newspaper in the morning until such a time when you have time to read.

When reading it, dissect it and mix all the pages so that those reading after you cannot make head or tail. Make cuttings of articles you like.

At the water dispenser, return the used glass among the clean ones.

Keep calling wrong extensions. When the person on the other end picks up just hang up without a word and call the extension you wanted in the first place.

Come in late for group projects and make your colleagues go through what they’ve already discussed in your absence.

Borrow colleagues’ books and magazines and draw doodles inside.

Borrow colleagues’ newspapers and fill in all the cross words and code words without consulting them first.

Have a shrill ringtone or some loud weird war songs on your mobile phone.

In an open plan office, keep peeping at what your neighbour is doing at his/her desk.

Demand that when you arrive in the morning, the cleaner should drop whatever he/she is doing and clean your office first.

Keep calling your workmates darling, sweetheart, honeypot, sugarpie. And give them the customary three kisses – left, right and left again.

Forward sordid E-mails using the company address. Don’t delete the chain of addresses that comes with it.

Play loud music on your speaker phone or from your computer.

Need I say snoop through people’s drawers looking for God knows what?

Unfortunately life is too short to be pissed off and being pissed off never made anyone feel better. It’s better not to waste your time being angry with such behaviours.

Telkom Kenya Mobile Services

2008-09-17T11:02:00.001+03:00

At last some stiff competition is coming in the telecommunications sector with the unveiling of Telkom Mobile Services this week. Things can only get better for the end user since hopefully prices will come down and existing telecommunication companies will introduce more services and improve on existing ones.

Telkom for most people has been a complete nightmare with their landline service in the past. Their name reminds one of the bad days when it was synonymous with corruption and bad service. With their new management, re-branding and rolling out of new services, I’m optimistic that things will change.

Kijabe Misson Town

2008-09-15T11:30:00.003+03:00

Following the debate that has been here for the last few days about teenage Sex, I dug in my archives and found an article that I’d posted in May this year. Maybe we can borrow some ideas from this town to help keep our youngsters in check. Here it is:

The story of Kijabe Mission Station as reported in the Standard this week reads like a Utopian dream. The town has very high moral standards dating back to colonial times when severe punishments were meted on anyone indulging in vices. There's no loud music either from shops or matatus like is common in most other towns. Commotion and disorder are unheard of.

Shops in this place are not allowed to stock cigarettes and alcohol and any new investor has to sign a code of conduct prohibiting him from selling the same and any other immoral products. Any shop keeper found breaching these rules could earn himself an expulsion from the town but if he's remorseful and apologizes, then he may be allowed to continue operating. This was easier to implement in the past than it is now because most shops were owned by church leaders anyway. The church now employs guards who go round and conduct inspections in shops in an attempt to uphold this rule. But generally these standards are getting more and more difficult to maintain especially with modern life, and employment of professionals from other areas.

Cohabiting, unwanted pregnancies and children born out of wed-lock are unacceptable. Of course they're unacceptable everywhere but in Kijabe Mission Station it actually works. Men are not expected to laze around with young women – in fact unmarried women are not allowed to be in the company of men after 7.00 pm.

Life in Kijabe Mission Station is not easy for the youth although it works out well for them in the long run. Many are known to take a sabbatical from their constraining hometown to go to other areas and indulge. Others go to colleges in other urban areas and have their big break but when they go back home they have to follow the rules again. Others sneak into the forest to indulge in a puff here and there. Or maybe some other sins.

Now if only all urban centers could be like this place.

Let's Talk About Teenage Sex

2008-09-11T09:36:00.002+03:00

For any parent, the idea of their teenage kids having sex is simply revolting. But if a recent report in the Sunday Nation is anything to go by, the problem is getting bigger with time and parents and the society as a whole have to confront this uncomfortable thought head on. Kids are having sex from as young as 13 years of age. The morning after pill (Emergency contraception) is the fastest moving over the counter drug in pharmacies especially over the weekends and on Mondays. That means they’re having unprotected sex. And they don’t need prescriptions to get these drugs. There’s the even more chilling allegation that there are fake pills in the market. That would in turn give rise to illegal backstreet abortions.

So teenagers have no business having sex but they’re having it anyway and then resorting to harmful and dangerous methods to prevent pregnancy. Why they’re starting to have sex so early is material for a whole different post. What is clear is that the abstinence before marriage gospel is mostly ineffective. It has been ineffective all these years for teenagers and older people alike. Obviously the gravest danger of unprotected sex is HIV. But it seems the kids are not looking at it that way.

There’s a bold concept among some parents out there. They know their youngsters are hormonal and are sexually active but other than adopting a hard stance which does not seem to work at all, they have embraced their daughters’ sexuality and are guiding them through birth control and condom use. Those who trust that their daughters are in a monogamous relationship have put them on the pill although condoms are most encouraged. Are the comfortable with that? No. Are they accepting the reality? Yes. The argument here is that they’d rather their kids had safe sex with their blessings and advice than unsafe sex under dangerous misinformed notions from fellow teenagers.

Judy (Not her real name) is such one parent. She had her first daughter at the tender age of 16 and she says she’d comfortably put her daughter through birth control at the same age. Not as permission to go out and have sex but as a safety measure so that the girl does not go through what she went through. She says that as a parent, she’ll feel more at ease knowing that her child is practicing safe sex under her guidance.

As another parent puts it, ‘I would not be comfortable with it because sex is not a decision that should be taken lightly. For the most part (and there are exceptions to everything), teenage boys and girls are impulsive and easily persuaded. There are too many young people getting pregnant and STD's. If teens were more responsible, there wouldn't be such a high rate of pregnancy and STD. So, I would not be comfortable with my teenage daughter having sex’.

Your Employer And Your Mobile Phone. What's the Mix?

2008-09-09T12:19:00.000+03:00

Recently a friend of mine was castigated by her employer for not being available on mobile phone when she was on leave. The employer was seeking to cancel her leave because the colleague who was sitting in for her fell suddenly ill. But she had switched off her phone and gone upcountry and the company could not reach her. The company did not collapse either. In fact nothing stopped. It turned out that there were other ways available to ensure that work continued even in the absence of her and her sick colleague.

But when she reported back to work there was a case awaiting her. The employer quoted a part of her employment letter that read thus: The normal working hours of the company are from 8.00 am to 1.00 pm and 2.00 pm to 5.00 pm from Monday to Friday, but as a senior member of staff it may be necessary from time to time for you to extend these hours or even work over the weekends. That is the bit the company used against her. But nowhere in the letter is being on mobile alert or cancellation of leave mentioned. Apparently that fell under ‘extend these hours’. But she does not consider herself senior anyway.

The question is, how much does your employer have to do with your private mobile phone? Should an employer call you any time they feel like it? According to about.com, your boss should only be calling you during normal operating hours and not after hours. If your boss or other co-workers are calling you after hours or on weekends, you must bring this up to a higher supervisor. In order to maintain smooth relationships with co-workers you should work within the "normal" operating hours of the office.

Some people are under the mistaken impression that because you work at home, you are available whenever they feel that it is convenient. To avoid problems from the beginning of a telecommuting arrangement, have it specified in your Agreement exactly when you can be called.

Freelancers should also set limits on when they can be reached and what the methods of contact are.

My friend’s case ended with just a verbal reminder that she can be required to avail herself at work on short notice but this just shows the complications that come about with the whole mobile phone thing.